Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Proof you are getting old

From Mollygood:

You Aging Motherfucker

Prince’s fine-ass hips are in trouble! After decades spent touring and humping and touring some more, the 49-year-old musical genius’ body has finally succumbed to too much crotch gyration and too little support from assless pants, and he’s going to need surgery to remedy the problem.

“He is totally crushed because he knows he will never be the same again.”

The surgery will involve removing the ball and socket of Prince’s damaged hip and replacing it with a titanium joint.

The Purple Rain singer is allegedly booking into a private hospital and aides have reportedly cleared two months from his diary to allow him time to recover from the operation.

While Prince will indeed recover from the operation, his reputation as a sex machine is now forever dead. Bury it right next to Gene Simmons‘.

Listening to: Goldfrapp - Little Bird

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Annual reviews with the boss

Everyone has had theirs today except me. I'm next. Last year I was pretty excited for this, looking forward to a substantial raise. Not this year, as our business is in the crapper and there's no relief in sight. Now I also feel like I'm going to face a firing squad. A vague miasma of blame over the state of things has somehow settled upon those of us who work the help desk and do nothing all day, even though there's no work for us to do.

Everyone has come out of their meetings looking pretty grim. One guy hinted there are to be no raises, or possibly raises will be contingent on virtually unattainable objectives. There is some grumbling about how there will be "more structure around here" from now on. Which could mean anything, since incoming calls are next to nonexistent and I spend a full 95% of my time here surfing the web. A few minutes of each day I try to sell the same defective software product to the same tiny group of customers, most of whom have already tried our product and hate it with a passion.

Looks like it's time to polish up that resume again.

Listening to: Koko Taylor - Money Is The Name Of The Game