Tuesday, August 05, 2008

If I could unlearn just one thing I learned today

...it would be the knowledge of the cuckold pregnancy fetish and its attendant community of adherents. No, really, some men think it would be totally hot if you knocked their wives up.

On the other hand, it did lead me to the following mind-boggling, please-let-it-be-fiction Metafilter comment for the ages:

I wasn't going to comment in this thread, but I think that it is important for you all to hear the other side of this issue. I impregnate married women. I have managed to do this without their husband's being aware of it four times, and with the wife telling her husband once, but not telling him that it was me. I plan to do it again as many times as I can, and I have one very strong prospect now that I am working on, and two possibilities. I do it for several reasons. I think that having many descendants is the closest anyone can get to immortality. I think that my genes are good for the gene pool, and it makes the world a better place to pass them on. However, I don't really like being around kids. They take a lot of work, and they cost a lot of money. I like driving a nice car and taking nice vacations and stuff. These are things you can't do once you have kids, because all your money is going to raising them. So I don't get married and start a family because then I would have to pay to raise the kids, and I don't impregnate single women, because then I would have to pay child support. Therefore, the only option left open to me is to impregnate married women. This way I get to have children, but not pay for them. Married women already have built-in child support, so they never have to come to me for money for junior's diapers. This also allows the families that I interject my genes into to get a healthy, handsome above-average intelligence baby. So, in a way, everyone is a winner. It is also a cycle. If someone has to raise a kid then they are always tired, prematurely old, they never have nice things, they are out of shape, and they never have time to devote to courtship. So, once you have a kid, nobody wants to sleep with you, which decreases your chances of having more children. I, however, get to devote my time to staying in shape, and devote my money to nice clothes, a sports car and taking poor neglected housewives out for drinks and listening to their problems. By not raising them, I increase my long-term chances of producing children. If I weren't cuckolding these "fathers" then someone else would be, and at least I am disease free and never break up their happy little home by suggesting that their wives run away with me. Often times the "fathers" are guys that I know socially (I guess that you could call them friends) and when they drive up to the bar in their minivan to meet me for a drink and start bitching about their boring hum-drum lives, the only advice that I ever give them is "Hey buddy, you're a dad now. You have got to focus on your kids and make sure that you are there for them." I think of it as doing my part to contribute to the upbringing of my children.

Listening to: The 5th Dimension - Summer's Daughter