Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Prince Stage Humped By Fan

As headlines go, it doesn't get much better than that. Best Week Ever reports:

Check out this pic from a surprise concert Prince did in London. Apparently the story behind the picture is that his purple majesty brought a couple of fans onto the stage. One got a little too close (some audience members are reporting the fan actually grabbed Prince face and kissed it), so as a joke Prince dropped to the ground and put up his hands. But that’s when the chick decided to go the extra mile and mount him. Cue bodyguards to haul crazy fan off to concert jail. It makes for a great Kodak moment–Get it framed for your jail cell, crazy fan!–but still, this never should have happened. Doesn’t the woman understand that this is not how you treat Prince? He is a tiny man, for God’s sake. Straddling him is like straddling a young boy. The fan’s lucky it was concert security who took her away and not Chris Hanson. Let’s not let something like this ever happen again, people. For future reference, if you’re ever in a situation where you see Prince on the ground, these are the acceptable things you can do:

* Help him up. (Gently. Remember, he’s tiny. He probably has fragile wrists.)
* Offer him a Band-Aid. He might have skinned a knee.
* Chastise the ground. Make the ground really regret whatever it did to make Prince fall.
* Get him a pillow. You never know, Prince may just be on the ground because he’s tired and wants a nap.
* Spray paint the ground around him purple. It will make Prince more comfortable.
* Call Carmen Electra. Prince created her. She’ll know what to do. (Note: This is the only situation in which you should take advice from Carmen Electra.)
* Call Life Alert. This is what you do anytime you see a frail person go down. You can do this pressing the button on the pendant Prince will most likely have around his neck. The button will signal the Life Alert monitoring center, which will get Prince help fast.