Dr. Benway's Office

Salty

2009-02-07T11:39:00.018-05:00

My latest FTOTZ mix:

tracks
01 - Rafter - Salt
02 - Britney Spears - If U Seek Amy
03 - Harpers Bizarre - I Love You, Alice B. Toklas
04 - Sheena Easton - Swear
05 - Mount Sims - Love's Revenge
06 - Annie Sprinkle - Deep Inside Your Cosmic Body Erotic
07 - Erykah Badu - The Cell
08 - Lucinda Williams - If Wishes Were Horses
09 - Stack - Poison Ivy
10 - Montefiori Cocktail - Pornello 70 ft. Maria Cristina Camillo
11 - Millie Jackson - Here You Come Again
12 - Cliff Ferre - Joe's Joint
13 - Nat Dove & The Devils - Joy
14 - Robert Byrne - Aquarius
15 - Maiysha - Over My Head
16 - Ike & Tina Turner - Son Of A Preacher Man
17 - Farrah Fawcett - You
18 - Tata Vega - Come On And Try My Love
19 - Me'shell Ndegeocello - Michelle Johnson
20 - The Osmonds - Crazy Horses
21 - The Isley Brothers - The Highways Of My Life
22 - The New Generation - Digger
23 - The Muffs - Kids In America

notes
"Salt" appears on Rafter's 2008 EP Sweaty Magic.

"If U Seek Amy" is from Britney Spears' 2008 release Circus.

Harpers Bizarre's "I Love You, Alice B. Toklas" was compiled on The Synthetic Side of Psychedelia.

"Swear" is from Sheena Easton's 1984 album A Private Heaven.

Mount Sims' "Love's Revenge" can be heard on his 2008 release Happily Ever After.

"Deep Inside Your Cosmic Body Erotic" by Annie Sprinkle is from an audio erotica collection from 2000 (in 3D Audio!) known as Cyborgasm.

"The Cell" can be heard on Erykah Badu's 2008 release New Amerykah, Pt. 1: 4th World War.

Lucinda Williams' "If Wishes Were Horses" appears on 2008's Little Honey.

Stack's version of the classic "Poison Ivy" is from their 1969 album Above All.

"Pornello 70 ft. Maria Cristina Camillo" by Montefiori Cocktail is on their 2007 release 4 Orchestra.

Millie Jackson covered the Dolly Parton hit "Here You Come Again" on her 1978 album Get It Out'cha System.

"Joe's Joint" by Cliff Ferre was compiled on If It Ain't A Hit, I'll Eat My...Baby-The Dirtiest Of Them Dirty Blues.

The Nat Dove & The Devils tune "Joy" can be heard on the 1977 Petey Wheatstraw soundtrack.

Robert Byrne's "Aquarius" appears on the moog Hair cover album Electric Hair.

Maiysha's Over My Head" is from her 2008 release This Much Is True.

Ike & Tina Turner cover "Son Of A Preacher Man " on their 1971 recording Live In Paris.

The breathy seventies Farrah Fawcett curiosity "You" was posted on some long-forgotten website. If anyone knows more about it please email me.

"Come On And Try My Love" is from Tata Vega's 1979 album Try My Love.

Me'shell Ndegeocello's "Michelle Johnson" appears on her 2007 album The World Has Made Me The Man Of My Dreams.

"Crazy Horses" by The Osmonds is collected on their 2003 Ultimate Collection.

The Isley Brothers' "The Highways Of My Life" can be heard on their 1973 album 3 + 3.

The New Generation's "Digger" appears on We Can Fly Vol. 3 - Psychedelic Obscurities.

The Muffs' cover of the Kim Wilde classic "Kids In America" appeared on the 1995 Clueless soundtrack.

Download Salty

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Listening to: Blue Angel - Maybe He'll Know

Cannibal Soup

2009-01-02T12:36:00.002-05:00

My FTOTZ mix for the Nov/Dec round went out unfashionably late this time. Sorry, mixee!

01 - Grace Jones - Corporate Cannibal
02 - Benny Sings - We'll Make Lovesongs
03 - Yma Sumac - Remember
04 - The Soft Pink Truth - Gender Studies
05 - Paul Giovanni - Willow's Song
06 - Jobriath - Take Me I'm Yours
07 - Janelle Monáe - Sincerely, Jane
08 - Lucia Pamela - Flip Flop Fly
09 - Nikka Costa - Loving You
10 - Bessie Smith - Cemetery Blues
11 - Rafter - Sassy
12 - Haywood Jablomi - Bottoms Up
13 - Jack Costanzo - Don't Squeeze The Peaches
14 - B.J. Snowden - America
15 - 4hero - Golden Age of Life
16 - White Noise - Your Hidden Dreams
17 - Groove Armada - The Girls Say
18 - Light Crust Doughboys - Pussy, Pussy, Pussy
19 - Inner Dialogue - Yesterday The Dog
20 - Salem Al Fakir - It's True

Download Cannibal Soup

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Love Bites

2008-11-05T10:12:00.012-05:00

My FTOTZ mix for October:

tracks
01 - Janelle Monáe - Violet Stars Happy Hunting!
02 - Aretha Franklin - Mary Don't You Weep
03 - Sinéad O'Connor - Dagger Through The Heart
04 - Lightnin' Rod - Four Bitches Is What I Got
05 - Nina Simone - Be My Husband
06 - Tag One Stereo - Thus Spake Zarathustra
07 - unknown - The Girl Next Door [from "The Diary of a Horny Housewife"]
08 - The Chemical Brothers - Hoops
09 - George Benson - Nature Boy
10 - Lewis Taylor - You Make Me Wanna
11 - Joe Tex - Ain't Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman)
12 - Metronomy - A Thing For Me
13 - Labelle - All Girl Band
14 - Esquivel - Brazil
15 - Sunny & the Sunliners - Get Down
16 - Balkan Beat Box - Sunday Arak
17 - Jill Scott - My Love
18 - Ruth Wallis - Hawaiian Lei Song

notes

No theme this month but since I started working on this in October I couldn't resist a Halloween-ish cover, which I stole from Hot Blood's "Disco Dracula" album. If there was a hell I'm sure I'd be going there for putting gospel and porn on the same mix.

We open with Janelle Monáe's "Violet Stars Happy Hunting!" from her excellent EP Metropolis, Suite I: The Chase.

Aretha Franklin's "Mary Don't You Weep" can be heard on her landmark 1972 gospel album Amazing Grace.

"Dagger Through The Heart" is covered by Sinéad O'Connor on the 2003 tribute Just Because I'm A Woman: The Songs of Dolly Parton.

Rap pioneer Lightnin' Rod's "Four Bitches Is What I Got" can be found on his 1973 release Hustler's Convention.

Nina Simone's "Be My Husband" is from her 1965 album Pastel Blues.

The funky version of "Thus Spake Zarathrustra" appeared on the album Instrumental Spectrum released by Tag One Stereo. I found it on Grooves of Delight.

"The Girl Next Door [from 'The Diary of a Horny Housewife']" is a bit of jazz-backed audio porn from Deep Note-Music of 1970's Adult Cinema

The Chemical Brothers' "Hoops" appeared on what I consider their last great album, 2002's Come With Us. This is still probably my favorite track from that album even though I've been hearing it on some car commercial lately.

George Benson's version of the Eden Ahbez classic "Nature Boy" is on his 1976 album In Flight.

"You Make Me Wanna" appeared on Lewis Taylor's 2000 release Lewis II.

Joe Tex's feminist anthem "Ain't Gonna Bump No More ( With No Big Fat Woman)" appeared on his 1997 album Bumps & Bruises.

Metronomy's "A Thing For Me" can be found on his 2008 release Nights Out.

"All Girl Band" by Labelle can be found on their 1974 album Nightbirds.

With all its sound effects and stereo tricks, Esquivel's "Brazil" has so much going on I can hardly keep track. I do love the part where you can hear him mix a cocktail. From his 1960 masterpiece See It In Sound.

Sunny & the Sunliners' "Get Down" is from Hard Texas Funk 1968-1975.

"Sunday Arak" is by Balkan Beat Box and can be heard on their 2005 self-titled debut.

"My Love" is by Philadelphia neosoul poet Jill Scott and appears on her 2007 release The Real Thing: Words and Sounds, Vol. 3.

Ruth Wallis was known for her oft-banned comedy albums full of double-entendre laden songs a bit too raw for the 1950's. Her "Hawaiian Lei Song" was included on 1988's Boobs - Ruth Wallis' Greatest Hits.

Download "Love Bites"

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Listening to: Myrna Braza - Gett Off

Janelle Monáe

2008-10-19T14:08:00.001-04:00

Once in a great while an artist grabs my attention so much that I can't stop listening to or talking about them. Lately it's Janelle Monáe, who I first heard about in this profile piece. I can't get enough of her concept EP Metropolis, Suite I: The Chase. It's based on the trials and travails of android girl Cindi Mayweather, who is on the run and scheduled for disassembly after an illicit affair with a human. Part one of a planned four part epic, Metropolis showcases Monáe's blend of rock, soul, and hip-hop, a style that recalls her associates in Outkast but taken to the next level with her killer vocals and theatrical storytelling.

Check out some Janelle:

Many Moons video

Violet Stars Happy Hunting (record store performance)

Sincerely Jane (live)

Violet Stars Happy Hunting (TV performance)

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Listening to: Janelle Monáe - Violet Stars Happy Hunting (Cyber Hop Mix)

Garden Of Earthly Delights

2008-09-16T10:12:00.021-04:00

My September FTOTZ mix:

Cover art was stolen from the brilliant artist SHAG.

tracks
01 - XTC - Garden Of Earthly Delights
02 - The Dresden Dolls - Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner
03 - The 5th Dimension - Orange Air
04 - Josie Cotton - License to Dance
05 - Arthur Brown - I Put A Spell On You
06 - The Puppini Sisters - Walk Like An Egyptian
07 - Herbie Hancock - Honey From The Jar
08 - Sophie Tucker - Red Hot Mama
09 - Iceberg Slim - Broadway Sam
10 - July - Jolly Mary
11 - Boy George - She Was Never He
12 - Janelle Monáe - Many Moons
13 - Scrugg - Lavender Popcorn
14 - Cassandra Wilson - Last Train To Clarksville
15 - The Turtles - You Don't Have to Walk in The Rain
16 - Donnie - The Daily News
17 - Black Lips - Everybody Loves a Cocksucker
18 - Gavin Friday - The Slider
19 - The Grip Weeds - Telescope
20 - Brazilian Girls - Nouveau Americain

notes
No theme on this multi-genre mix but a higher concentration than usual of psych rock and sixties influences. For instance, it opens with XTC's "Garden of Earthly Delights," a bit of Brit-pop psychedelia from their 1989 album Oranges & Lemons.

The Dresden Dolls coined the term 'Brechtian punk cabaret' (for fear of being labeled something that would include the word gothic) to describe their take on piano pop. "Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner" is a highlight of their 2008 release, No, Virginia.

I can't get enough of the smooth soul-pop stylings of The 5th Dimension, especially when they dip their toes into sunny psychedelia. Peep the lyrics to "Orange Air," from their Jimmy Webb-penned album The Magic Garden.

If I had to explain eighties new wave pop to someone who had never heard it, Josie Cotton's "License to Dance," from her 1984 album From The Hip, epitomizes the sound for me.

"I Put A Spell On You" is one of those songs I like well enough to have collected a folder full of covers (29 and counting). This version is from Arthur Brown's 1968 psych rock classic The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

I used to love The Bangles, then they released the hellishly overplayed "Walk Like An Egyptian" and I got over them. I never thought anyone could make me like this song but damned if The Puppini Sisters didn't make it catchy, and not in a way that makes me want to jam screwdrivers through my eardrums. Here they are performing it live. From their 2007 album The Rise & Fall of Ruby Woo.

Herbie Hancock's "Honey From the Jar" is a sticky-sweet serving of vocoder funk that would not sound out of place on a Funkadelic album. Appeared on his 1979 release Feets, Don't Fail Me Now.

"Red Hot Mama" is by Sophie Tucker, delightfully bawdy star of vaudeville, Broadway and film. Tucker "was billed as The Last of the Red Hot Mamas, as her hearty sexual appetite was a frequent subject of her songs, unusual for female performers of the era (wiki)." You can hear the song on Last of the Red Hot Mamas.

"Broadway Sam" pairs a jazz-funk instrumental with a great spoken word tale by Iceberg Slim, the famed pimp, writer and forefather of rap. From his seminal 1976 album Reflections.

July's "Jolly Mary" is probably the only psychedelic sea shanty I know. Odd and engaging. From their 1968 album July, another psych rock classic.

"She Was Never He" is a great but unknown Boy George tune with lovely vocal harmonies and flamenco guitar. From his little-heard 1999 album Unrecoupable One Man Bandit, Vol. 1.

Janelle Monáe's music blends rock, hip-hop, soul and cabaret into a theatrical melange I haven't quite heard before. She's great live too. "Many Moons" can be found on her debut EP Metropolis, Suite I: The Chase.

"Lavender Popcorn" is by the British psych rock band Scrugg. The song was compiled on Paisley Pop - Pye Psych (& Other Colours), 1966-1969.

I love a cover that takes a familiar song in an unexpected direction, as exemplified by Cassandra Wilson's cool jazz take on the Monkees hit "Last Train to Clarksville." From her 1995 release New Moon Daughter.

"You Don't Have to Walk In The Rain" by sixties pop group The Turtles, is easily as fine and memorable a tune as their best known hit, "Happy Together." Found on Solid Zinc: The Turtles Anthology.

"The Daily News" is the title track from soul singer Donnie's second album. If you like good soul music with socially conscious lyrics in the manner of Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye, you should check this guy out. He's amazing.

What can I say about a song title like "Everybody Loves A Cocksucker"? This dissonant, slurry psych-out from Atlanta garage punks Black Lips still manages a melody catchy enough to sing along to, when you can make out the words. From their 2003 debut Black Lips!

Former Virgin Prune Gavin Friday released a great glam-cabaret-pop album in 1996 called Shag Tobacco that remains one of my favorites from the era. If you liked "The Slider "you should go buy it- not a bad tune on there.

The Grip Weeds are psych pop revivalists who have been around since 1994, although I only recently discovered them. "Telescope" is on their 2004 album Giant On The Beach.

Brazilian Girls are an eclectic electronic group featuring the sultry multilingual vocals of Sabina Sciubba. "Nouveau Americain" is from their latest release, New York City.

Download "Garden Of Earthly Delights"

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Listening to: Janelle Monáe - Violet Stars Happy Hunting!

Fabulous Stains DVD review

2008-09-11T10:38:00.003-04:00

From Home Theater Forum:

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE FABULOUS STAINS - DVD Review

The cult classic "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS" received only a limited initial theatrical release and has been seen only on television and occasionally at film festivals since it was made in 1981. The movie has never been released on home video or DVD. Yet this little-seen film about a trio of misfit teenage girls (including a young Diane Lane and Laura Dern) who start a punk band went on to inspire a generation of female rockers like Bikini Kill, L7, and Courtney Love. Jon Bon Jovi, St Ettienne and The Ramones are also huge fans of the film.

Rhino Entertainment are reviving this lost cult classic with the DVD release of LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS on September 16th.

Directed by Lou Adler (Up In Smoke, Rocky Horror Picture Show), the film stars Oscar nominee Diane Lane (Unfaithful, The Perfect Storm) and Laura Dern (Jurassic Park, Wild At Heart) as members of The Stains, along with Steve Jones and Paul Cook of The Sex Pistols, Clash bassist Paul Simonon, Fee Waybill of the Tubes, Black Randy from Black Randy and The Metrosquad, plus Ray Winstone (Beowulf, Sexy Beast) and Christine Lahti (Running On Empty).

Surly and sexy in one of her earliest starring roles, Diane Lane is the archetype riot grrl. Recently orphaned and struggling in a poverty stricken existance she forms a punk rock group with her sister and cousin. Sporting a memorable skunk hairdo, sheer see-through top, high-stiletto heels and fishnets, she sings songs like "I'm A Waste of Time," verbally assaults the audience and leads her legion of adoring female fans in the chant, "We don't put out!". Before long "The Stains" are becoming media darlings because of their image rather than any actual talent. However, the music industry being what it is, has some rather shocking surprises for the fledgling band.

This is a really wonderful film. The music, the camera work, the performances, the rags-to-riches/riches-to-rags story. It is all very entertaining and engrossing. It also says so so much about the music industry and fame... including the way that almost everyone uses and manipulates everything for their advantage only to be manipulated themselves and then destroyed by the very thing that made them.

Diane Lane totally owns the film and really imbues her character of Corrinne "3rd Degree" Burns with both a biting wit, a certain sympathy, and yet a tough bitchy quality. It is a very VERY memorable performance. Ray Winstone (with a very thick cockney accent) is superb also. These two also really look the part on stage. Diane Lane was to play a rocker in "Streets Of Fire" a few years after this too. Laura Dern is superb in support and Fee Waybill steals every scene he is in.

Filled with great rock and roll, it's no surprise that much of the film's underground following consists of musicians. Bikini Kill drummer Tobi Vail has said: "It is the most realistic and profound film I have ever seen." While not everyone will appreciate this time capsule of a movie, everyone should at least see it once. It is an important movie that somehow predicted much of how the music industry was to become. It was slightly passe when it came out (due to re-editing and re-shooting the film was delayed and plagued with behind-the-scenes problems) but it is now quite refreshing and doesn't seem dated. A time-capsule of a film that is definitely worth a look.

Film: 4/5

The FABULOUS STAINS DVD features the film restored from original vault elements and the picture quality on this 1.85:1 anamorphic enhanced DVD is pretty good. Considering the age of the film and the fact that it has been lost in some vault somewhere for almost 30 years it actually looks excellent. Nobody is gonna mistake this for a "Transformers" blu-ray but it is BY FAR the BEST this film has ever looked. Anyone used to $40 bootlegs on Ebay will be blown away! The picture is sharp, colorful, and clearly defined. There is some nice film grain but it isn't overly grainy. The low-ish budget and film stock is still apparent but some scenes really do look wonderful (even for SD). There are the odd instances of film debris (a few white speckles here and there) and there were one or two instances of pixellization (in a few scene transitions) but you have to really be on the look out for them. All in all this is a very nice DVD presentation from Rhino.

Picture: 3.5/5

The sound on this DVD is the real star of the show. The film has been completely remastered in 5.1 and wow, that music does sound good. There is a punch to the bass and a lively quality that blows away all those TV screenings and bootleg DVD's. The concert footage especially is very dynamic and nice. The dialogue is clear and centre focussed and well integrated into the mix. Overall, this is a very very impressive remaster.

Sound: 4/5

The extras on the DVD are all quite good but there are also some notable things missing. First there is the menu screens with the music from the film over some footage playing the background. Menu options are "Play Movie", "Scene Selections", "Set-Up" and "Special Features".

Under the extras you will find an informative brand new audio commentary with Lou Adler. Adler is quite quiet and unassuming. He also admits to watching and enjoying the movie. Sadly, for us... that means he goes quiet too often and we have patches of silence where he doesn't say much. He is quite informative when he does talk but the commentary is a bit dry. I guess sproradically informative is the best way to sum this one up.

The second commentary makes up for the first. Stars Diane Lane and Laura Dern sit-down together for this track and it is very entertaining and even downright hilarious in parts. While probably not as informative as Lou Adler's track the girls have an absolute ball revisiting this film. They joke and laugh, giggle and tell stories and anecdotes about the production and the films troubled shoot. Both Lane and Dern also show that they are very into their music too. Lane for instance mentions several bands and musical references throughout from The Ramones and The Go-Go's to Flock Of Seagulls and The Thompson Twins. There is also some funny moments where Diane Lane does some spot-on impressions of Ray Winstone! An entertaining and lively listen.

There is a cool photo-gallery with about 50 photos from the production. These are either promotional shots or behind-the-scenes shots taken during the shoot. Most of these I have never seen anywhere else. Even if you are an ardent fan of this film there will be many here that you too haven't seen before.

There is also an attractively produced and informative booklet inside the DVD case too.

While the commentaries are good (the Lane and Dern being great!) and the photo gallery is superb, there are still some things that didn't make the package sadly. The wonderful "Making Of" documentary (available here: index and here: YouTube - Making of 'Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains' Part 1 ) is sadly not included (apparently a rights issue). It is available on this DVD however: Amazon.com: The Rainbow Man/John 3:16: Diane Lane, Laura Dern, Ray Winstone, Paul Cook, Paul Simonon, Marin Kanter, Lou Adler, Nancy Dowd, Fee Waybill, Caroline Coon, Jake Fogelnest, Debbie Rochon, Rollen Stewart, Sarah Jacobson, Sam Green (II): Movi ).

Also, the films theatrical trailer is not included although you can view the Rhino version of the trailer here: Amazon.com: Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains: Diane Lane, Ray Winstone, Laura Dern, Peter Donat, Barry Ford, Christine Lahti, John Lehne, Cynthia Sikes, Brent Spiner, Fee Waybill, Janet Wright, Marin Kanter, Debbie Rochon, Paul Simonon, Vinc and here: YouTube - Ladies & Gentelmen, The Fabulous Stains Trailer ).

If these two things were on this Rhino disc that would have made it pretty much perfect but sadly they are not. What we have is very good though so hey, we'll just have to live with it. That being said, to have any extras on this film is something to be applauded. Well done Rhino.

Extras features: 3/5

Overall, to own this lost cult classic on DVD is a miracle and to have it atlast in such good quality is even more impressive. The picture is fine, the sound is amazing, and the extras (while not completely all encompassing) are also excellent. The Diane Lane and Laura Dern commentary is especially entertaining and funny. A recommended purchase!

Total: 4/5

Norris

How to remain ageless

2008-08-15T10:31:00.004-04:00

Ernest Borgnine discovered the Fountain of Youth.

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Listening to: Yma Sumac - Goomba Boomba

When trannies attack

2008-08-11T11:29:00.000-04:00

Let it never be said that Tennessee queens are not fierce.

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Listening to: Culture Club - Black Money

If I could unlearn just one thing I learned today

2008-08-05T13:16:00.004-04:00

...it would be the knowledge of the cuckold pregnancy fetish and its attendant community of adherents. No, really, some men think it would be totally hot if you knocked their wives up.

On the other hand, it did lead me to the following mind-boggling, please-let-it-be-fiction Metafilter comment for the ages:

I wasn't going to comment in this thread, but I think that it is important for you all to hear the other side of this issue. I impregnate married women. I have managed to do this without their husband's being aware of it four times, and with the wife telling her husband once, but not telling him that it was me. I plan to do it again as many times as I can, and I have one very strong prospect now that I am working on, and two possibilities. I do it for several reasons. I think that having many descendants is the closest anyone can get to immortality. I think that my genes are good for the gene pool, and it makes the world a better place to pass them on. However, I don't really like being around kids. They take a lot of work, and they cost a lot of money. I like driving a nice car and taking nice vacations and stuff. These are things you can't do once you have kids, because all your money is going to raising them. So I don't get married and start a family because then I would have to pay to raise the kids, and I don't impregnate single women, because then I would have to pay child support. Therefore, the only option left open to me is to impregnate married women. This way I get to have children, but not pay for them. Married women already have built-in child support, so they never have to come to me for money for junior's diapers. This also allows the families that I interject my genes into to get a healthy, handsome above-average intelligence baby. So, in a way, everyone is a winner. It is also a cycle. If someone has to raise a kid then they are always tired, prematurely old, they never have nice things, they are out of shape, and they never have time to devote to courtship. So, once you have a kid, nobody wants to sleep with you, which decreases your chances of having more children. I, however, get to devote my time to staying in shape, and devote my money to nice clothes, a sports car and taking poor neglected housewives out for drinks and listening to their problems. By not raising them, I increase my long-term chances of producing children. If I weren't cuckolding these "fathers" then someone else would be, and at least I am disease free and never break up their happy little home by suggesting that their wives run away with me. Often times the "fathers" are guys that I know socially (I guess that you could call them friends) and when they drive up to the bar in their minivan to meet me for a drink and start bitching about their boring hum-drum lives, the only advice that I ever give them is "Hey buddy, you're a dad now. You have got to focus on your kids and make sure that you are there for them." I think of it as doing my part to contribute to the upbringing of my children.

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Listening to: The 5th Dimension - Summer's Daughter

It's A Miracle!

2008-07-23T14:03:00.006-04:00

My FTOTZ mix for July will be missing liner notes due to my change of residence currently in progress. Sorry, mixee. You can email me for details or copies of anything on here.

tracks
01 - Megadebt - Hemisperic Dumpster Dive
02 - 4 Hero - Sophia
03 - Operation Eat Shit - You Don't Listen, You Just Hear
04 - Essence - Fever
05 - Prince - Feel You Up (Long Stroke)
06 - Bobbie Gentry - Papa, Won't You Let Me Go To Town With You
07 - Double Feature - Baby Get Your Head Screwed On
08 - Cresa Watson - Dead
09 - Robin Thicke - Threesome
10 - Slave - Slide
11 - Lil Green - Knockin' Myself Out
12 - Groove Armada - Purple Haze ft Nappy Roots & Red Rat
13 - Bob Log III - Big Ass Hard On
14 - Devo - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction
15 - Ann Sexton - You're Losin' Me
16 - Sheena Easton - You Make Me Nervous
17 - Alice Smith - New Religion
18 - Moon - Brother Lou's Love Colony
19 - Booka Shade - Psychameleon
20 - Stevie Wonder - Saturn
21 - Culture Club - It's A Miracle (Alberkam Mix)

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Listening to: The Soft Pink Truth - Big Booty Bitches

Jeez, America is ig'nint!

2008-07-22T17:12:00.000-04:00

Like many Americans, I am often embarassingly uninformed about national politics. But according to this news quiz, a full 91% of Americans are even more ignorant than me! So I can relax, right?

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Listening to: RIAA - Let Them Eat Cheeseburgers

The only war that matters is the one on baggy pants

2008-07-09T12:24:00.006-04:00

I'd like to congratulate the fine men in blue of Flint, Michigan, for having solved all crime in the city. At least I'm assuming they have, since their police chief has joined the brave battle against the bold and the beltless. From Click On Detroit:

FLINT, Mich. -- Flint police will now be arresting people who wear sagging pants.

Police Chief David Dicks said anyone wearing pants or shorts that expose their buttocks can be arrested for indecent exposure, according to the memo.

Dicks said the immoral "self expression" goes beyond free speech; it rises to the crime of indecent exposure.

The American Civil Liberties Union is looking at the new law as a possible attempt at racially targeting people.

Those who wear sagging pants will fined and possible spend a year in jail.

Indecent exposure? No really, is that the best they can do? If actual ass exposure were involved I would be the biggest cheerleader ever for baggy pants, but we all know "saggers" only show off a few inches of underwear. Is there really any doubt this is racial targeting?

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Listening to: Prince - Bambi

Do Yourself Some Good!

2008-06-26T15:07:00.011-04:00

This month's FTOTZ mix:

tracks
01 - Heavy Handed - Do Yourself Some Good
02 - Laura Nyro - Sweet Blindness
03 - Miss Kittin -Pollution of the Mind
04 - Big Mama Thornton - Everybody's Happy (But Me)
05 - Quiet Village - Too High To Move
06 - Russ Garcia - Monsters of Jupiter
07 - Jim & Jean - Time Goes Backwards
08 - 12 From A Dozen - Oscar Winners
09 - Margie Joseph - Come Lay Some Lovin' on Me
10 - Digitalism - Idealistic
11 - Al Green - Take Your Time ft Corinne Bailey Rae
12 - Purple Underground - Count Back
13 - Joi - You Turn Me On
14 - The Jackson 5 - Ben (Hiroshi Fujiwara & K.U.D.O. Remix #2)
15 - Mavis Staples - Koochie, Koochie, Koochie
16 - Jill Scott - How It Make You Feel
17 - Fake - Five Years Ago, Did You See Yourself Here!
18 - Candye Kane - I'm Not Gonna Cry Today
19 - Cornelius - Sleep Warm

notes

Heavy Handed's "Do Yourself Some Good" was among the first drum & bass tracks I heard over a decade ago and is partly responsible for my love affair with the genre. From the 1997 comp Mutant Beatz: Abstrakt Hip-Hop, Future Funk and Science Fiction Soul.

Singer-songwriter Laura Nyro created a singular body of work that encompassed pop, soul, jazz, gospel and tin pan alley. "Sweet Blindness," which later became a hit for The 5th Dimension, appears on her 1968 master work Eli and the Thirteenth Confession.

DJ/producer Miss Kittin is among the few acts to emerge from the electroclash scene with a lasting career. "Pollution of the Mind" can be heard on her 2008 release Bat Box.

Blues singer Big Mama Thornton is best known for her hit "Hound Dog," which topped the R&B charts for seven weeks in 1953. Her songs have been covered by Elvis Presley and Janis Joplin. "Everybody's Happy (But Me)" was compiled on The Complete Vanguard Recordings.

Quiet Village live at the intersection of downtempo and sleazy listening music, and I can't get enough of their debut album Silent Movie, on which "Too High To Move" appears.

Russell Garcia has been composing music for jazz musicians and film soundtracks for over a half century. "Monsters of Jupiter" is from his exotica classic Fantastica.

Jim & Jean's "Time Goes Backwards" appears on a great psychedelic pop compilation called Soft Sounds for Gentle People 3.

"Oscar Winners" by 12 From A Dozen can be heard on the 1997 compilation Porn Beats.

Mississippi-born soul singer Margie Joseph was frequently compared to her Atlantic label mate Aretha Franklin and toiled in her shadow for many years. Her music is enjoying a revival with the reissue of her great 70s albums. "Come Lay Some Lovin' On Me" is from her 1974 classic Sweet Surrender.

"Idealistic" appears on Idealism, the 2007 debut of German electronic duo Digitalism.

Soul crooner Al Green needs no introduction. "Take Your Time," his duet with Corinne Bailey Rae, may be found on his latest effort, 2008's Lay It Down.

"Count Back" by Purple Underground is from the 2001 compilation Psychedelic States: Florida in the '60s, Vol. 2.

Funk soul diva Joi's "You Turn Me On" can be heard on her great (unreleased) 1997 album Amoeba Cleansing Syndrome.

"Ben (Hiroshi Fujiwara & K.U.D.O. Remix #2)" is from Soul Source: Jackson Five Remixes, Vol. 2.

Legendary soul singer Mavis Staples rose to prominence with her family gospel/pop group The Staple Singers. "Koochie, Koochie, Koochie" appeared on the Curtis Mayfield-produced soundtrack to the Bill Cosby/Sidney Poitier classic A Piece of the Action.

Philly neosoul singer and poet Jill Scott's "How It Make You Feel" is from her latest album, 2007's The Real Thing: Words and Sounds, Vol. 3.

"Five Years Ago, Did You See Yourself Here!" by electronic duo Fake, can be heard on their free-to-download album You Are Not Dead: A Guide to Modern Living.

Blues belter and former sex worker Candye Kane is one of my favorite singers. You can find "I'm Not Gonna Cry Today" on her latest release, Guitar'd and Feathered.

At first gloss Cornelius' take on the Sinatra/Nelson Riddle classic "Sleep Warm" seems like a straightforward cover, but put on your headphones and it becomes something altogether different. I loved the crazy stereo effects and a lullabye seemed an appropriate way to close. From the 2006 album Sensuous.

Download "Do Yourself Some Good!"

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Listening to: Mavis Staples - Melody Cool

No gayo for you!

2008-06-25T16:05:00.002-04:00

Sad but unsurprising: Heinz pulled the mayo ad featuring a gay couple kissing (see below) and issued a sheepish apology. The ad was canceled just a week into its planned five week run in the UK after 200 viewers complained it was offensive. An online petition has been launched (4630 signatures and counting) urging Heinz to bring back the campaign.

If you are straight, please stop and imagine for a few seconds that you live in a world where kissing the person you love in public could inspire outrage, disgust, even violence. That's the world where I wake up every day.

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Listening to: Millie Jackson - Sho Nuff Danjus

Hail to the Thief

2008-06-25T13:06:00.005-04:00

Surreal as hell: I just found out President Bush is going to be at some fancy $1000 a plate fundraiser in a couple of hours... right across the friggin' street! There's a banquet hall and deli over there where one of my coworkers occasionally buys lunch but the food is so horrible you couldn't pay me to eat it. Here's hoping they serve Dubya the ptomaine special.

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Listening to: Girl Talk - Here's The Thing

Gayonnaise

2008-06-19T11:32:00.005-04:00

There are fancier websites than mine devoted to the depiction of gays in advertising but I am posting this anyway because it tickled me.

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Listening to: Sam Phillips - Little Plastic Life

Somewhere a monster is weeping

2008-06-16T17:12:00.003-04:00

R.I.P. Stan Winston, monster-maker extraordinaire. A Hollywood makeup and special effects master, Winston's credits include effects for Jurassic Park, The Terminator, Edward Scissorhands and Pumpkinhead. He also designed the "Mr. Roboto" mask for Styx and the wookiee costumes for the infamous 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special.

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Listening to: Portishead - Elysium

In case you need a sitter

2008-06-13T11:09:00.004-04:00

Soggy, forlorn little sign spotted on 8 Mile Road this morning.

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Listening to: Funkadelic - Maggot Brain

Mexican sharks crave human flesh!

2008-06-11T09:59:00.007-04:00

Cue the Jaws theme. Shark scare stories are a slow news day standard, but this week the hard-hitting tabloid journalists at The Sun found a new spin worthy of a B horror film: wild sharks, fed on bodies dumped by mobsters, have developed a real taste for the long pig!

Sharks ‘seeking human targets’
From VIRGINIA WHEELER
in Zihuantanejo, Mexico
Published: 07 Jun 2008

SCIENTISTS fear sharks are now HUNTING people for the first time after Jaws-style attacks on a resort.
The horrifying theory emerged after two surfers were killed and one badly injured in a month.
A fourth swimmer is missing at the Mexican seaside town.
Locals fear ONE rogue shark is responsible but experts believe a pack of deadly bull sharks are actively targeting humans for the first time.
They think the 10ft-long fish could have developed a taste for human flesh after devouring hundreds of corpses dumped into the sea by mobsters.
The beach at Zihuantanejo – near Acapulco and popular with British tourists – had not previously recorded a shark incident in more than 30 years.
And, with an annual average of only four fatal shark attacks globally, the fact that two people have died along the same stretch of coast within weeks has astonished international experts.
The Zihuantanejo deaths come halfway through what is already turning into a bumper year for shark attacks.
Zihuantanejo is now gripped by fear. Police have been guarding beaches and signs warn against going into the water.
Local businessmen, worried the deaths will devastate the tourist industry, hired fishermen to kill the sharks.
And Mexican Navy vessels were brought in last week to scour the waters for sharks using the tourist beach as a feeding ground.

Jose Leonardo Castillo, chief shark investigator for Mexico’s National Fishing Institute, said yesterday: “One theory we’re investigating is that a group of sharks have developed a taste for humans.”
Although the number of attacks world-wide increased from 63 in 2006 to 71 in 2007, there was only one recorded fatality. The two Zihuantanejo deaths and one in California have tripled that this year.

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Listening to: Casiotone For The Painfully Alone - Lesley Gore On The Tami Show

The Lexie Mountain Boys

2008-06-10T21:02:00.003-04:00

Without further ado, The Lexie Mountain Boys:

Looping waterslide

2008-06-06T15:43:00.000-04:00

How much is a ticket to Slovenia?

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Listening to: Nina Simone - Sinnerman

A Sex-Stuffed Gingerbread House

2008-06-04T20:52:00.003-04:00

Words that could only be uttered in a cult film trailer with gratuitous nudity and a crime jazz soundtrack. Bedazzled Blue (NSFW) posts phenomenal sexploitation film trailers like this one for A Taste of Hot Lead, among other vintage R-rated goodies. You're welcome.

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Listening to: Plantlife - Sumthin About Her

New thrills for '08

2008-05-30T10:10:00.001-04:00

USA Today recently ran a great article with an extensive list of new theme park attractions for 2008. Myrtle Beach, SC, former home to such lamented fun spots as Magic Harbor (a.k.a. Haunted Harbor) and the Pavilion Amusement Park, gets the most exciting addition with a much-needed brand new theme park: Hard Rock Park. My family usually vacation several times a year in Myrtle Beach. I haven't been since my honeymoon in '89 (yes, I was a child groom) but this just might be enough incentive to get me back down there.

Pictured: (top) Farenheit at Hersheypark, Hershey, PA., (bottom) The Simpsons Ride, Universal Studios, Orlando, FL. From USA Today.

Hard Rock Park videos:

Led Zeppelin - The Ride & The Eagles' Life In The Fast Lane (coasters)

Bohemian Rhapsody (nightly laser/fireworks/effects show)

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Listening to: Al Green - Take Your Time ft Corinne Bailey Rae

Three reasons to love Isabella Rossellini

2008-05-20T19:57:00.002-04:00

1) Blue Velvet. Duh.

2) The Saddest Music in the World. A trippy, surreal delight.

3) Green Porno, her series of short films depicting the sex life of insects (safe for work). Not to be missed!

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Listening to: Stereophonic Space Sound Unlimited - Pool Scene

More thrills than they paid for

2008-05-20T17:47:00.005-04:00

Visitors to Adventureland in Altoona, Iowa, got a little extra thrill last weekend on the Splash Over, which looks like a pretty intense spin-and-puke ride to begin with. Riders were stuck upside-down for seven minutes.

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Listening to: Peter Thomas - Coolstuff

More sexual impropriety at HappyTech

2008-05-19T10:08:00.005-04:00

Loyal readers of my blog (both of you) will remember my tale of Irv, my coworker who brought a lot of grief upon us all after saving a giant stash of porn on an office computer. Unfortunately the situation was handled all wrong and he was given the opportunity to delete the porn before anyone proved he was the guilty party. Afterwards other accounts of his sexually inappropriate behavior towards coworkers came to light. In the year since, Irv has continued to work at HappyTech and the boss has continued putting him in charge of things, despite his apparent unreliability. He frequently has come to work with alcohol on his breath or appearing hung over and strung out. He got wasted on a business trip and was unable to show up for one day of the function the company had sent him halfway across the country to run.

When you keep problem employees on, you can expect problems. We got big problems last weekend when Irv went to a big convention to represent us. Once again he got too wasted to attend the event he was there for. He did manage to attend a banquet the previous night though, where he availed himself of the free-flowing alcohol and made sexually inappropriate remarks to several of our customers' wives. Apparently he was going around introducing himself as the Nipple Police.

This time he's getting fired.

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Listening to: Lucinda Williams - Joy

Brain Job

2008-04-30T22:26:00.019-04:00

My April selections for the FTOTZ Mix Club:

tracks
01 - DJ Soul Slinger - Brain Job
02 - Wanda Robinson - A Possibility Back Home
03 - Boxcutter - Foxy
04 - The Cryan' Shames - A Carol For Lorelei
05 - 4 Hero - Bed Of Roses ft Jody Watley
06 - Gladys Knight & The Pips - I Can’t Stand By
07 - Dionne Farris - Gravity
08 - The Knife - Like A Pen
09 - The National Bank - Cubicle Man
10 - Silver Band - Kaw-Liga
11 - Jesse Johnson - Be Your Man
12 - Portishead - Hunter
13 - Sharon Jones And The Dap-Kings - Your Thing Is A Drag
14 - Fake - Paxil And Other Agents of Change
15 - Miss Kittin - Sunset Strip
16 - Moovers - Someone To Fulfill My Needs
17 - Christ. - Glenbrook
18 - Dazz Band - Joystick
19 - Nostramus - Let's Fuck It Up
20 - Nina Simone - O-O-Oh Child (Nickodemus Remix)

notes
DJ Soul Slinger's "Brain Job" interlude (from his 1997 release Don't Believe) opens the mix with a Dame Edn a sample. Quoth the lady:

This isn't a show. It's not entertainment, per se. (I love saying per se.) I mean if I were home entertainment... look, I'm not a bowl of spaghetti, I'm not a bottle of wine, an After Eight mint. That's home entertainment in my book. I'm a therapist. I'm a counselor. I'm a swami. This is the output for my input, it really is. This isn't a studio, I think of it as a massage parlor for the human spirit darling, I do! Where I give you what you dare not ask your husband or wife to give, and that's a brain job. You know, Dr. Jonathan Miller said to me the other day, after five minutes conversation with me he said, "Dame Edna, you've given me the best brain job I ever had in my entire life!"

"A Possibility Back Home," jazz poet Wanda Robinson's excellent spoken word performance, came from The Doors of Perception - Dope Funk, Psychedelic Soul and Acid Jazz from NYC 70-74.

Genre-expanding dubstep artist Boxcutter a.k.a. Barry Lynn, hails from Northern Ireland. "Foxy" can be heard on his acclaimed album Glyphic.

"A Carol for Lorelei," by Chicago sunshine pop group The Cryan' Shames, can be heard on their 1967 album Scratch in the Sky.

UK drum & bass titans 4 Hero featured 80s soul diva Jody Watley on "Bed of Roses," from their 2007 release Play With The Changes.

"I Can't Stand By" is performed by a teenage Gladys Knight and the Pips. From their 1961 anthology of early works A Letter Full of Tears.

Arrested Development singer Dionne Farris is best known for her smash 1994 hit "I Know," which spent seven months in the top ten. "Gravity" is from her long awaited follow-up album Signs of Life.

Stockholm siblings The Knife craft beautiful electro-leaning synthpop. "Like A Pen" can be heard on their 2006 effort Silent Shout.

Norway's The National Bank could be accused with spiking their indie pop with a bit of yacht rock- and I love 'em for it. Hear "Cubicle Man" on their new album "Come On Over To The Other Side." I can't find a review in English but trust me, it's worth hearing.

Silver Band's unique cover of Kaw-Liga can be found on Thai Beat A Go-Go, Vol. 1.

Formerly of The Time, Jesse Johnson's solo albums attempted to one up Prince's funky guitar work, vocal talent and outre fashion sense, with mixed results. "Be Your Man" is one of the more memorable efforts from his 1985 solo debut Jesse Johnson's Revue.

Bristol, UK. trip-hop pioneers Portishead recently treated fans to their much-anticipated third studio album, Third. "Hunter" stands out on its own while recalling the best of classic Portishead.

Sharon Jones And The Dap-Kings play classic soul and funk like they never went out of style. "Your Thing Is A Drag" is from their 2005 release Naturally.

Fake's haunting "Paxil And Other Agents of Change" is from their free-to-download electronic opus You Are Not Dead - A Guide To Modern Livin g.

"Sunset Strip" is a moody little synth ditty from German electro revivalist Miss Kittin. From her latest effort, 2008's gother-than-thou Batbox.

"Someone To Fulfill My Needs" by Miami soul group the Moovers can be found on Eccentric Soul, Vol. 7: The Deep City Label.

Former Boards of Canada member Christ. crafts sublime downtempo compositions. "Glenbrook," featuring a reading from Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree, is from his 2007 UK release Bike.

"Joystick" is the title track from the 1983 album by the Dazz Band.

"Let's Fuck It Up" appears on Earthlights, a 1997 release by UK drum & bass producer Nostramus.

"O-O-Oh Child (Nickodemus Remix)" - This remix of Nina Simone (covering the Five Stairsteps) appeared on the 2006 compilation Nina Simone - Remixed & Reimagined.

Cover image found via Google image search on some random Romney-for-President site.

download "Brain Job"

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Listening to: Fake - Paxil and Other Agents of Change

Dionne Farris - Signs of Life

2008-03-28T22:15:00.013-04:00

If I were picking my top ten albums of the 90s, 1994's Wild Seed - Wild Flower by Dionne Farris would place high on that list. The solo debut for the former Arrested Development singer opens with "I Know," the massive hit single that spent seven months in the top ten. Then it's one great song after another right to the end, spanning pop, rock, soul, funk and folk. Fourteen years after it's release I still listen to this album all the time, and her tender acoustic version of "Blackbird" is still my all-time favorite Beatles cover. Farris had a had another hit a few years later with "Hopeless," which appeared on the Love Jones soundtrack. Then she did a bit of a disappearing act. I have been dying to hear what was coming next from this engaging artist, but as the years passed a follow-up album was looking less and less likely.

Dionne Farris was on my mind today after I read a review for Randy Jackson's Music Club. (I know, as if I'd ever buy that!) Turns out the American Idol judge played bass for Farris on Wild Seed - Wild Flower and here he is looking goofy as all hell in her Hopeless video. I hadn't googled her in a while and wondered what she was up to. First Wikipedia told me she's working on a new album and is currently under the expert management of Matthew Knowles, Beyoncé's Svengali/father. Yikes, hope that works out okay! Then I find her blog and whaddaya know, she just released an album!!! It's called Signs of Life.

I am beside myself with anticipation. I paid for it, then got an email saying I'd receive a download link when my payment was processed- in about four days! I used PayPal, for crying out loud, why do I have to wait that long?

Oh well. Meanwhile I'll listen to the new tracks steaming on her MySpace and enjoy the video for "Baggage," also new to me though it came out in December.

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Listening to: Dionne Farris - Now or Later

A Few Old Memories

2008-03-10T16:02:00.002-04:00

The theme for this month's FTOTZ mix is nostalgia.

tracks
1. Bent - Memories
2. Sam Phillips - Taking Pictures
3. High Contrast - The Ghost of Jungle Past
4. Elton and Betty White - Climaxation is a Sweet Sensation
5. Dolly Parton - A Few Old Memories
6. Erykah Badu - That Hump
7. Shelby Lynne - Just A Little Lovin'
8. George Clinton & the P-Funk All Stars - Butt-a-Butt
9. Dr. Samuel J. Hoffman - I Dream of a Past Love
10. Elton and Betty White - The Little Dicks Fit Me Best
11. The 13th Floor Elevators - Splash 1
12. Wagon Christ - Memory Towel
13. Minnie Riperton - Memory Band
14. Sheila E. - Faded Photographs
15. The Shangri-Las - Past, Present and Future
16. Armand Van Helden - I Want Your Soul ft. Siedah Garrett
17. Millie Jackson - The Memory of a Wife
18. Nu:Tone - All Over the World ft. Rose Windross
19. Elton and Betty White - I'd Really Rather Not Have Oral Sex
20. Fred Wolff Combo - Somebody Else Was Suckin' My Dick Last Night
21. Dolly Parton - 9 To 5 (Thee Werq'n B!tches Happy Hour At Charlie's Mix)

notes
Whimsical electronic duo Bent hail from Nottingham, UK. "Memories" appeared on their acclaimed 2000 debut Programmed to Love.

When I first read about this month's theme I immediately thought of Sam Phillips' "Taking Pictures" and its lyric, "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be." From her 2001 album Fan Dance.

Cardiff, UK-based drum & bass wunderkind Lincoln Barrett a.k.a. High Contras t is a DJ, producer and label owner. "The Ghost of Jungle Past" can be found on 2007's Tough Guys Don't Dance.

Homeless couple Elton and Betty White honed their singular brand of sexually explicit outsider funk performing as street musicians in Little Rock, AR. They later moved to Venice Beach, CA, starred in their own award-winning cable access hit and made several TV talk show appearances. The tracks included here appear on their album Sex Beyond the Door, date unknown. RIP Betty, and may all the men in heaven have little dicks.

Dolly Parton covered the Hazel Dickens tearjerker "A Few Old Memories" on her 1999 bluegrass revival album The Grass is Blue.

"That Hump" appears on Erykah Badu's amazing new release, New Amerykah, Pt. 1: 4th World War. I have played this album on endless repeat ever since it has been out.

"Just A Little Lovin'" is the title track from Shelby Lynne's new Dusty Springfield tribute album. Not to be missed.

What is a booty, and how would I know if I'm shaking it? It's a musical question that perhaps only George Clinton & the P-Funk All Stars could answer. "Butt-a-butt" is from their 2005 disc How Late Do U Have 2 B B 4 U R Absent?

Child violin prodigy Dr. Samuel J. Hoffman was mild-mannered podiatrist by day and thereminist by night. He brought an instrument known mainly among classical music circles into the mainstream, working with Les Baxter and on the soundtrack to Hitchcock's Spellbound. "I Dream of a Past Love" can be found on the Hoffman retrospective Waves in the Ether: The Magical World of the Theremin.

The term psychedelic rock may have been coined to describe The 13th Floor Elevators, a Texas garage rock band who moved to San Francisco and became one of the first proponents of the sound. Their more tender, ballad-oriented side is in evidence on "Splash 1," from The Psychedelic Sounds of The 13th Floor Elevators.

Wagon Christ a.k.a. Luke Vibert is a British producer of genre-hopping electronica. "Memory Towel" is from his 1998 album Tally Ho!

Best known for her hit "Loving You," Minnie Riperton was also the lead singer for Rotary Connection, one of my favorite psychedelic soul acts. "Memory Band" is from her 1970 solo debut Come to my Garden and pairs the sort of trippy-dippy lyrics I can't get enough of with some Bacharach-on-ecstasy production that must be heard to be believed.

"Faded Photographs" is one of a handful of tracks not produced by Prince on Sheila E.'s epononymous third album and it sounds roughly like someone plugged every bad eighties rock cliché they could think of into ProTools and pressed play. But it's Sheila, it has a nice melody and it takes me right back to summer 1987, so I still love it.

"Past, Present and Future" proves that once a group has racked up enough hits, they can record themselves reading bad teenage poetry over a timeworn classical chestnut and people will still buy it. From The Best Of The Shangri-Las.

Armand Van Helden's freestyle flashback "I Want Your Soul" samples Siedah Garrett and appeared on his 2007 album Ghettoblaster .

"The Memory of a Wife" has all the hallmarks of a great Millie Jackson tune: dramatic spoken word passages, scorching soul vocals and biting humor. From her second adultery-themed concept album, Still Caught Up.

Nu:Tone is Dan Gresham, a UK drum'n'bass artist. "All Over the World" features the vocal stylings of Rose Windross and can be heard on his 2005 debut Brave Nu World.

There's not much info on the web about the mysterious Fred Wolff Combo, but Brownsville Station's Cub Koda is rumored to be involved. "Somebody Else Was Suckin' My Dick Last Night" is a perennial favorite on raunchy blues comps. I heard it first on If It Ain't A Hit, I'll Eat My... The Dirtiest Of Them Dirty Blues.

We close with another gratuitous Dolly inclusion, "9 To 5 (Thee Werq'n B!tches Happy Hour At Charlie's Mix)." Wait, did I say gratuitous? Silly me. One can never get too much Dolly! If you agree, head over to Thee Werq'n B!tches and you'll hear his remix of "You Drive Me Crazy," Dolly's new Fine Young Cannibals cover.

Thanks to Annabelle at Pastoral Dreams for graciously allowing me to use her lovely mosaic for my cover art, and to all the included photographers. Photo credits:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunsetsailor/ - Old Gothic Mansion, Sepia Slumber
http://www.flickr.com/photos/karlascottage/ - Artwork of Old Roses in Sepia
http://www.flickr.com/photos/prettypetalsboutique/ - German Glass Glitter, Sparkles Like Diamonds
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kh1234567890/ Cherubs in Czech Republic
http://www.flickr.com/photos/moodeous/ - key
http://www.flickr.com/photos/klsanderson/ - Forget
http://www.flickr.com/photos/astorybooklife/ - window project, window crystals
http://www.flickr.com/photos/74526173@N00/ - Arret Sur Image, Retro rose
http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrysti/ - Vintage Freebie 10, Sanctuary Fatbook

download A Few Old Memories

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Listening to: Minnie Riperton - Memory Band

Proof you are getting old

2008-02-27T14:47:00.006-05:00

From Mollygood :

You Aging Motherfucker
Prince’s fine-ass hips are in trouble! After decades spent touring and humping and touring some more, the 49-year-old musical genius’ body has finally succumbed to too much crotch gyration and too little support from assless pants, and he’s going to need surgery to remedy the problem.

“He is totally crushed because he knows he will never be the same again.”
The surgery will involve removing the ball and socket of Prince’s damaged hip and replacing it with a titanium joint.
The Purple Rain singer is allegedly booking into a private hospital and aides have reportedly cleared two months from his diary to allow him time to recover from the operation.
While Prince will indeed recover from the operation, his reputation as a sex machine is now forever dead. Bury it right next to Gene Simmons‘.

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Listening to: Goldfrapp - Little Bird

Annual reviews with the boss

2008-02-26T16:57:00.000-05:00

Everyone has had theirs today except me. I'm next. Last year I was pretty excited for this, looking forward to a substantial raise. Not this year, as our business is in the crapper and there's no relief in sight. Now I also feel like I'm going to face a firing squad. A vague miasma of blame over the state of things has somehow settled upon those of us who work the help desk and do nothing all day, even though there's no work for us to do.

Everyone has come out of their meetings looking pretty grim. One guy hinted there are to be no raises, or possibly raises will be contingent on virtually unattainable objectives. There is some grumbling about how there will be "more structure around here" from now on. Which could mean anything, since incoming calls are next to nonexistent and I spend a full 95% of my time here surfing the web. A few minutes of each day I try to sell the same defective software product to the same tiny group of customers, most of whom have already tried our product and hate it with a passion.

Looks like it's time to polish up that resume again.

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Listening to: Koko Taylor - Money Is The Name Of The Game

Howie After Dark

2008-01-31T15:58:00.000-05:00

This month's FTOTZ mix goes out today to the delightful Diane Court.

tracks

01 - Fabio - About Romance
02 - RIAA - Pon De Re-Entry to The Moon (Rihanna vs. Jean-Jacques Perrey & Harry Breuer)
03 - Joe Simon - Let's Spend The Night Together
04 - Wendy & Lisa - Why Wait For Heaven
05 - Burial - Ghost Hardware
06 - Angelo Badalamenti - Dance of The Dream Man
07 - Romeo Void - Never Say Never (12'' Single Version)
08 - Scala - I Touch Myself
09 - ccc - Lucy at The River (The Beatles vs. Groove Armada)
10 - Fabio - On Humor
11 - unknown - Lick the Alphabet (Khia vs. Prince)
12 - Spacer - Contrazoom ft Alison Goldfrapp
13 - Erykah Badu - Honey
14 - Dinah Washington - Long John Blues
15 - Dolly Parton - Jolene (Divide & Kreate remix)
16 - Bruce Haack - Mean Old Devil
17 - Koop - I See a Different You
18 - Rose Royce - Bad Mother Funker
19 - A plus D - Good Enough For Heartbeats (Cyndi Lauper vs. The Knife)
20 - Panda Bear - Take Pills
21 - Fabio - Ciao

notes
Leonine model Fabio Lanzoni is my favorite kind of famous person. A multimedia icon hailing from the Pia Zadora school of random celebrity, Fabio has given us so much: hundreds of romance novel covers, tasty I Can't Believe It's Not Butter ads, a score of self-deprecating film cameos (why hasn't John Waters cast this man yet?) and of course the roller coaster goose collision, although the Smoking Gun TV version of events is funnier. I enjoy all Fabio-based entertainment. Even his feud with George Clooney provided much needed relief from the writer's strike comedy drought. Anytime his moai-like countenance appears on a gossip blog or TV show it's like a hug from baby Jesus.

But it's his crowning achievement, Fabio After Dark, that inspired this tribute and continues to inspire lovers the world over. An album of cheesy quiet storm balladry interspersed with Fabio's breathy musings on love and romance, Fabio After Dark lets you hear the secrets of seduction directly from the master. A true classic, and I don't throw that word around lightly. Listen with a straight face if you can.

Pon De Re-Entry to The Moon - Mashup masters RIAA took a bland pop song by Rihanna and turned it into an insanely catchy ditty, with a little help from moog pioneers Jean-Jacques Perrey & Harry Breuer. From their 2007 album (free download!) Sounds for the Space Set.

Let's Spend The Night Together - Country soul crooner Joe Simon opened his 1976 album Today with this Stones classic but he took it somewhere way funkier. Worth hearing for the hilarious intro alone.

Why Wait For Heaven - Wendy & Lisa, best known for their work with The Revolution, have a post-Prince discography full of unheralded treasures. This slice of psychedelic pop is from their 1990 release Eroica.

Ghost Hardware - Mysterious producer Burial's unique variant of dubby, grimy UK garage sounds like futuristic film music from a haunted underwater city. (Music critics, eat your hearts out.) From his latest album Untrue, which graced many "best of 2007" lists.

Dance of the Dream Man - Composer Angelo Badalamenti is renowned for his soundtrack work with David Lynch. This tune is from the 1990 Twin Peaks soundtrack. Isn't it just too dreamy?

Never Say Never (12'' Single Version) - Art school new wavers Romeo Void had their biggest hit with this track in 1982, heard here in its unedited version from the 2006 compilation Never Say Never: Hits, Rarities & Gems.

I Touch Myself - Unlikely cover of the Divinyls gem by Belgian teenage girl's choir Scala, I first heard this track on Music for Maniacs. Seriously, do these kiddies know what they're singing about?

Lucy at The River - Masterfully blends Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds and Groove Armada's chillout classic At the River. From ccc's Sgt. Pepper mashup album Cracked Pepper.

Lick the Alphabet - The identity of the demented genius who mashed up Khia's My Neck, My Back with Prince's Alphabet Street has eluded me, but I found it at the awesome retro remix blog Altered Anthems.

Contrazoom - Crime jazz meets drum'n'bass with a cool Shirley Bassey-esque vocal by Alison Goldfrapp in the last third, this Spacer track appeared on the 1996 comp Pussy Galore.

Honey - This mellow retro soul single is from Erykah Badu's forthcoming album New Amerykah, due out next month. An extra cool video for this song just came out.

Long John Blues - I may never look at my dentist the same way again after hearing this double entendre-filled tune from Dinah Washington. Compiled on Eat To The Beat - The Dirtiest Of Them Dirty Blues.

Jolene (Divide & Kreate remix) - Swedish producer Divide and Kreate puts a fresh spin on a familiar Dolly Parton song. Found on his website, where many of his great mixes and mashups are free to download.

Mean Old Devil - Little known but highly influential electronic musician Bruce Haack has been called the King of Techno. This track can be heard on his 1978 recording Electric Lucifer: Book 2.

I See a Different You - A swinging electronic jazz track from Koop elevated by the ethereal voice of Yukimi Nagano. Appears on Koop Islands.

Bad Mother Funker - This funky little number by Rose Royce can be heard on Rose Royce IV: Rainbow Connection.

Good Enough For Heartbeats - DJ duo A plus D prove synthpop from the eighties and oughties can play well together by mashing up The Knife with Cyndi Lauper.

Take Pills - One of my favorite tracks from Person Pitch, the 2007 album from acid folkie and Animal Collective member Panda Bear.

Download Howie After Dark

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Listening to: Bruce Haack - Fantastic Skullastic

But Mommy, I wanna ride the Hobbler!

2008-01-08T11:06:00.000-05:00

Can you think of a more offensive concept for a theme park than one devoted to recreating the experience of slavery? Reportedly one couple in Haiti (American expats, natch) are planning to build such an attraction. Someone please tell me this is a hoax.

A theme park where visitors 'play' the role of a slave could soon be a reality for guilt-ridden Europeans wanting to come to terms with their ancestors' brutality.
Memory Village will allow visitors to be bound and tortured at a resort in Haiti, which was a slave nation before becoming the world's first black republic.
Tourists can play the part of a slave for 12 hours, in which they get a feel for the hardship endured in the Latin American country more than 200 years ago.
They can choose if they want to be spectators or participants. If they take part, they will be given traditional African clothing and then 'kidnapped', chained and forced to march to a slave ship in a mock crossing of the Atlantic.
They will then be part of a re-enactment where slaves were taken to market to be sold and later broken down with torture in quarantine and put to work on a plantation.
Towards the end of the 12-hour stay, visitors will take part in a recreation of the slave rebellion which eventually led to the establishment of Haiti.
Americans Ron and Carla Bluntschli, who are behind the project, have set up a foundation to get Memory Village off the ground and have already raised enough money to buy half the land needed for their attraction.
Mrs Bluntschli said: 'Slavery is a terrible wound. Germany is still suffering trying to get over the Holocaust, and this is a Holocaust that happened for centuries.'
The couple, who have lived in Haiti for 22 years, need $700,000 (£350,000) in total to complete their theme park.

Previously: But Mommy, I wanna ride the Anal Probe!

That word... I do not think it means what you think it means

2007-12-22T10:27:00.000-05:00

Google image search is usually good for at least one belly laugh a day. I was looking for cover art for this mystery album I downloaded when my search for "Shagadelia" was rewarded with this very NSFW image.

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Listening to: Magnum - Natural Juices
via FoxyTunes

Mele Kalikimaka & Night

2007-12-11T19:22:00.000-05:00

My mixes for this month's FTOTZ Mixtape/CD Club exchange went out to Diddydeezie:

tracks

01 - Esquivel (with Combustible Edison) - Jingle Bells (Greetings From Esquivel!)
02 - The Beach Boys - Melekalikimaka
03 - Cassetteboy - Ho Ho Ho
04 - DJ John - The Christmas Massacre of Charlie Brown
05 - The Carpenters - Merry Christmas Darling
06 - Bob Atcher & The Dinning Sisters - Christmas Island
07 - Sheila E. - Santa Baby
08 - Cassetteboy - Up The Chimney
09 - Eartha Kitt - Nothin' For Christmas
10 - Jingle Punx - Baby It's Cold Outside
11 - Charo - Feliz Navidad
12 - Arthur Lyman - Mele Kalikimaka
13 - Ike & Tina Turner - Merry Christmas Baby
14 - Ella Fitzgerald - Christmas Island
15 - Cassetteboy - Bingmas
16 - Aretha Franklin - Winter Wonderland
17 - Standstill - I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
18 - The Sportsmen - Reindeer Rock
19 - Spike Jones - Christmas Island
20 - Celia Cruz - Jingle Bells
21 - Cassetteboy - Banned Aid
22 - Rotary Connection - Christmas Love
23 - Bessie Smith - At The Christmas Ball
24 - Lynn Anderson - Ding-A-Ling The Christmas Bell
25 - Heather Noel - Santa Came on A Nuclear Missle
26 - El Vez - Mamacita Donde Esta Santa Claus
27 - Blowfly - Jingle Fuckin' Bells
28 - The Andrews Sisters, Guy Lombardo - Christmas Island
29 - The Children of the Inpatient Music Therapy Program, University of Michigan Children's Psychiatric Hospital - O Come, All Ye Faithful
30 - Cassetteboy - Merry Christmas ft Wesley Willis
31 - Pearl Bailey - A Five Pound Box of Money
32 - Go Home Productions - Carpenters Christmas (Karen Meets Roots Radics Uptown)
33 - Loretta Lynn - To Heck With Ole Santa Claus
34 - Bit Shifter - Let It Snow
35 - Kamehameha Alumni Glee Club - Mele Kalikimaka

notes
Esquivel's "Jingle Bells (Greetings From Esquivel!)" was produced by Combustible Edison and appears on Merry Xmas From The Space Age Bachelor Pad .

The Beach Boys' "Melekalikimaka" can be heard on The Beach Boys Ultimate Christmas.

Cassetteboy's "Ho Ho Ho," "Up The Chimney," "Bingmas," "Banned Aid," and "Merry Christmas ft. Wesley Willis" appear on Festive Christmas.

DJ John's "The Christmas Massacre of Charlie Brown" is from Santastic: Holiday Boots 4 Your Stockings.

The Carpenters' "Merry Christmas Darling" may be heard on Christmas Portrai t.

I found Bob Atcher & The Dinning Sisters' "Christmas Island" on Ultra-Lounge: Christmas Cocktails, Part Two.

Sheila E.'s cover of "Santa Baby" was featured on Playboy's Latin Jazz Christmas: A Not So Silent Night.

Eartha Kitt's "Nothin' For Christmas" can be found on Christmas Blues & Shout.

"Baby It's Cold Outside," as interpreted by The Jingle Punx, is from It's What I Got In My Sack.

Charo's "Feliz Navidad" is from the delightful Pee Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special.

Arthur Lyman included this vibealicious version of Mele Kalikimaka on With A Christmas Vibe.

I found Ike & Tina Turner's "Merry Christmas, Baby" on The Best of Cool Yule.

"Christmas Island" by Ella Fitzgerald is a bonus track on the reissue of Ella Wishes You A Swinging Christmas.

Aretha Franklin's rendition of "Winter Wonderland is from Rhino's Rockin' Christmas: The 60's.

The compilation A Santa Cause: It's A Punk Rock Christmas featured Standstill's "I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus."

The Sportsmen's "Reindeer Rock" was compiled on Rockabilly Xmas.

Spike Jones' "Christmas Island" may be heard on Let's Sing A Song Of Christmas.

Celia Cruz's excellent take on "Jingle Bells" appeared on Mambo Santa Mambo: Christmas from the Latin Lounge.

Rotary Connection's "Christmas Love" is from their album Peace.

I found "At The Christmas Ball" by Bessie Smith on Jingle Blues: House of Blues Christmas Collection.

Lynn Anderson's "Ding-A-Ling The Christmas Bell" is from The Christmas Album.

Heather Noel's "Santa Came on A Nuclear Missle" was featured on The American Song-Poem Christmas.

"Mamacita Donde Esta Santa Claus" by El Vez is from his album Merry MeX-mas.

Blowfly's "Jingle Fuckin' Bells" is from the hilariously raunchy Blowfly Does XXX-Mas.

A Merry Christmas with Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters features Guy Lombardo & His Royal Canadians ably backing The Andrews Sisters on "Christmas Island".

"O Come, All Ye Faithful" is from Christmas at C.P.H. - The Children of the Inpatient Music Therapy Program, University of Michigan’s Children’s Psychiatric Hospital.

"A Five Pound Box of Money" by Pearl Bailey appears on Hipsters' Holiday: Vocal Jazz & R&B Classics.

Go Home Productions' "Carpenters Christmas (Karen Meets Roots Radics Uptown)" is on the mashup collection Santastic II: Clausome!

Loretta Lynn's "To Heck With Ole Santa Claus" can be heard on Hillbilly Holliday.

Bit Shifter's "Let It Snow" was composed and performed on a GameBoy and is compiled on The 8bits of Christmas.

"Mele Kalikimaka" by the Kamehameha Alumni Glee Club appears on Mele Kalikimaka - A Hawaiian Christmas Party.

Mele Kalikimaka from Sgt Howie cover features pin-up art by Bill Medcalf.

Download "Mele Kalikimaka from Sgt Howie"

_________________________________________

tracks
01 - Robin Thicke - Everything I Can't Have
02 - Sielab - (Take Your Pants Off &) Follow the Leader
03 - Bobbie Gentry - He Made a Woman Out of Me
04 - Salem Al Fakir - Count Me Out
05 - Patti LaBelle & the Bluebelles - Go on (This Is Goodbye)
06 - Essra Mohawk - Spiral
07 - Roisin Murphy - Footprints
08 - Koko Taylor - Time Will Tell
09 - Hues Corporation - I'm Gonna Catch You
10 - B.J. Snowden - In Canada
11 - Bent - Magic Love
12 - The Evolution Control Committee - I Want A Cookie
13 - The Gossip - Are U That Somebody
14 - Hanne Hukkelberg - Ease
15 - Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings - 100 Days, 100 Nights
16 - Mr. Oizo - Transexual
17 - The Countdown Five - Candy
18 - Me'Shell Ndegéocello - Elliptical
19 - Teena Marie - Honey Call
20 - Xaviera Hollander - The Hippie
21 - Yma Sumac - Malambo No. 1

notes
Robin Thicke's "Everything I Can't Have" appeared on The Evolution of Robin Thicke.

"(Take Your Pants Off &) Follow the Leader" by Sielab is from Suck it and See.

Bobbie Gentry's "He Made a Woman Out of Me" can be heard on Fancy.

Salem Al Fakir's "Count Me Out" is from his amazing debut This Is Who I Am.

I first heard Patti LaBelle & the Bluebelles "Go on (This Is Goodbye)" on The Early Years.

Essra Mohawk's "Spiral" appeared on her acclaimed LP Primordial Lovers.

Róisín Murphy's "Footprints" is from her excellent album Overpowered.

"Time Will Tell" by Queen of the Blues Koko Taylor is on Jump For Joy.

Hues Corporation's "I'm Gonna Catch You" appears on the Blacula soundtrack.

I fell in love with B.J. Snowden's "In Canada" while listening to Songs in the Key of Z: The Curious Universe of Outsider Music.

Bent's "Magic Love", featuring the vocal stylings of Billie Jo Spears, can be heard on their phenomenal album The Everlasting Blink.

The Evolution Control Committee's "I Want A Cookie" appears on the essential Plagiarythm Nation Vol. 2.0.

The Gossip's cover of Aaliyah's "Are U That Somebody" is on GSSP RMX.

Hanne Hukkelberg's "Ease" is on her highly recommended album Little Things.

Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings' "100 Days, 100 Nights" is the title track from their latest album.

Mr. Oizo 's "Transexual" is from his Transexual/Patrick 122 EP.

The Countdown Five's "Candy" is from Psychedelic States: Texas in the '60s, Vol. 1.

Me'Shell Ndegéocello's "Elliptical" is from her latest release, The World Has Made Me The Man Of My Dreams.

Teena Marie's "Honey Call" appeared on her phenomenal 2004 comeback album La Doña.

I discovered Xaviera Hollander's "The Hippie" on Hippie Goddesses - Soaked with Sizzling 1960s-70s Funky Femme Psych Sounds. You heard this track sampled heavily on Sielab's (Take Your Pants Off &) Follow the Leader.

Yma Sumac's "Malambo No. 1," from Mambo!, was heavily sampled on Robin Thicke's "Everything I Can't Have."

Night cover features "Godlike," a photo by Chuck Anderson.

Download "Night"

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Listening to: Bettye LaVette - Suspicions
via FoxyTunes

Kay Martin & Her Body Guards - 1962 - I Know What He Wants For Christmas... But I Don't Know How To Wrap It!

2007-12-08T09:15:00.000-05:00

Here's the wildest Christmas fun album you'll ever hear in this century or any other. It's strictly for adults and loaded with a daring broadside of the sexiest, most delightfully naughty songs, stories and spicy chatter ever recorded.

So reads the back cover copy of another great file sharing find, I Know What He Wants For Christmas... But I Don't Know How To Wrap It! Kay Martin and Her Body Guards were a Vegas lounge act who specialized in adult musical comedy and this is a thoroughly bawdy holiday album- quaintly, adorably 1962 bawdy. A classic party record of the sort no one makes anymore. The few vinyl copies still circulating are so highly sought-after by collectors it's practically the holy grail of Christmas albums. Oddly that's a model, not Kay, on the cover. Oddly because Kay herself appeared topless on another of their albums and her boobs were the stars of the show. Check out the back cover and listen to their live act (side 2 aka track 9) to see what I mean.

Get the album & artwork here.

Thanks to The Christmas Yuleblog and The Groove Grotto! for schooling me on Kay Martin and Her Bodyguards.
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Listening to: Kay Martin and Her Body Guards - Hang Your Balls on the Christmas Tree

Nichole & The Dreamcatchers, et al - 2003 - Krismus Karuls

2007-12-06T12:31:00.000-05:00

I came across this album on file sharing yesterday and grabbed it just because the title piqued my curiosity. What a serendipitous find! It's definitely my favorite record of the week. Lately my interests run to xmas music as well as oddball and outsider music. This album satisfies both interests and had me grinning like a basket full of possum heads all evening. I found this review on Asthmatic Kitty Records:

I have a new Christmas tradition. Somewhere after the turkey is put to rest, I wander into my Itunes to dig out Nicole and the Dreamcatchers who woo me into delight and hilarity for 7 songs amounting to a little under 6 minutes of time. Who is Nicole and what is she about? I can tell you for sure that I don't know. And what I don't know my mind gets to put tooth to. I think she is a girl somewhere around 12 years of age who has a bad time carrying a tune, but is incredibly fun and imaginative. She is also someone who has a grip on true holiday excitement and anticipation that is sought in ideal by so many...Nicole doesn't seek illumination - she owns it.

Sounds Are Active had the full scoop:

Okay kids. Here it tis. The singularly amazing, underground classic (to all 30 people who have a copy) Krismus Karuls.

Originally released in 2003 on Konstrictor Productions this fantastically bizzare record features both a 7 song Christmas EP from Nichole & The Dreamcatchers, whose lead singer, Nichole, is in full command of her twelve year old voice. Amazing stuff. Then the full on extravaganza. Two tracks from Half-Handed Cloud, The Mary Hamhocks (Liz Janes and husband- erstwhile Slowly Rotating Fan- Michael Kaufmann) and Mary Krismus. Probably the prettiest thing Create (!) has ever recorded ("Hymn for St. John of Shanghai"- bonus points if you know what he is the patron saint of...), a great lo-fi, fun instrumental from elusive My Marathon and a simply astounding piece of music from Joel Pickell (drummer and musician in the travelling Half-Handed Cloud circus). What is Christmas without kids!?? Childhood tape recordings from 1978 and 87 bookend the tracks and the album tops off with "Red & Green" from themorningcall featuring some sweet baby chatter.

WOW! Merry Christmas indeed! Get it while you can...

A commenter there also filled in the history of the album:

I am still amazed by this wonderful little nugget. The first section (tracks 1-7) were all recorded in the early summer of 2003, when some friends of the family flew out of Lenoir City, Tennessee to see us here in Berkeley California.
Their daughter, Nichole age twelve, has a unique voice. The summer before, when they visited us, we had done some recordings with her that kept us anticipating their next visit. Nichole’s ideas were incredible. Listening to her was refreshing. The music she made didn’t obey the rules. It was real and impossible to recreate.
When she visited us the second time, I had already planned how the session was going to unravel. We would only do Christmas songs. We were going to record as many as we could.
After they left, my brother Rian and I played the songs for our friend John Ringhofer who was very amazed by the sugar coated pop brainchild kid. “Laughs”.
Anyway, the tapes were soon forgotten and left to rust and gather crumbs in the filth and scatter of our carpet. Meanwhile, I was writing some Christmas songs of my own. I talked to John about the songs I had been working on; he told me he had a few Christmas songs up his sleeves also, and wouldn’t it be cool if we made a small compilation. “I’m sure the Campfire Kids would be into it”, he said. “What about the Nichole stuff?”, I asked,” I really wanted to get that stuff finished too.”. “Let’s just put it all on one disc.” he said. This was a clever suggestion because Nichole had already finished the artwork. The only thing left to do was the inside designs, recording, and emailing.
Even though there wasn’t much time left until Christmas, everyone got there songs finished and sent in by the deadline. The final product was a Christmas tour de force. If you don’t believe me, try it out yourself. That’s not a dare; that’s a promise. Thank you John and Chris and everyone who contributed their time. Happy holidays. I’ve got ringworm.

Er, thanks for sharing. Anyway, you should hear this album. Download the individual files at Sounds Are Active or get the full album with hi-res scans of the cover, CD face (priceless) and booklet in a zip file here. Let me know if that link expires and I'll re-upload it.

Special thanks to artist Jonathan Dueck, who doesn't know me from Adam's housecat but was kind enough to scan and send me all the album art when I emailed him out of the blue. (Bonus: I was introduced to his amazing work.)

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Listening to: Nichole & The Dreamcatchers - Chocolate Stars (I'll Be Home)

Republican gay sex scandal of the week

2007-11-27T18:19:00.000-05:00

Mississippi Senator Trent Lott announced his resignation yesterday, which must have been sad news to all the other white supremacists on Capitol Hill. Lott, you'll recall, left his position as Senate Majority Leader in disgrace after declaring at Strom Thurmond's 100th birthday party that the country would be better off had the segregationist Dixiecrat been elected president. Gay folks may also remember his compassionate explanation of homosexuality in a 1998 TV interview: "It is [a sin]....You should try to show them a way to deal with that problem, just like alcohol...or sex addiction...or kleptomaniacs."

Lott may have more than an office party and a gold watch ahead of him though. He'll also have a gay sex scandal to contend with, according to inside-the-beltway blogger Big Head DC:

Once upon a time, there was a twentysomething boy-next-door type with reddish blond hair and a brilliantly white smile. Not one to shy away fromattention, he wrote a blog called “Fifteen Minutes,” and also became a freelance writer for various publications, including The Stranger in Seattle. He’d often focus on his non-traditional lifestyle as a gay male escort — a topic that often fascinated his readers, which, in turn, helped him to garner a substantial amount of powerful business acquaintances through the years.
Based in San Antonio, he would travel all over the world to meet his clients, which included high profile celebrities, businessmen and even politicians in the United States Congress.
Sometimes within his writings he’d give advice on how other males could become successful escorts. Other times he’d post videos of himself flexing on YouTube. Once, he even scolded gay escort Mike Jones for outing Rev. Ted Haggard as one of his gay escort business participants.
“You were paid for sex, Mike,” he wrote in 2006. “The most important rule you can follow when taking people’s money in exchange for sex is that—no matter what—their lives stay their own and whatever passes between the two of you remains private. Period.”
Many of his clients greatly appreciate his professionalism. In fact, according to one 66-year-old patron who reviewed him on a gay escort site, he is “a very reliable escort who keeps you informed.”
The boy happens to be real, and his “stage name” is Benjamin Nicholas. One of the politicos Big Head DC has learned he’s alleged to have been involved with is the married Sen. Trent Lott, 66, who unexpectedly announced his retirement on Monday. Lott is well-known to have been against a plethora of gay rights issues throughout his terms in Congress. He was also good friends with Sen. Larry Craig throughout his time in Congress.
Nicholas told Big Head DC today via e-mail that he didn’t want to go on the record to talk about his dealings with Lott, because, said Nicholas, “Trent is going through his fair share of scrutiny right now and I don’t want to add to it.” However, e-mail and other records confirm that the two have met on at least two occasions.
“All I can say at this point is no comment,” Nicholas told us. “It’s the professional thing for me to do.”
In a subsequent e-mail message, Nicholas confirmed that another publication is working on a story about a “possible relationship” between Lott and himself, but Nicholas also “politely declined” an interview for that story.
“As I said before, Lott has quite a bit on his plate right now and I don’t really want to add fuel to the embers,” Nicholas told Big Head DC.

I'm gonna go pop some popcorn now. This should be quite entertaining to watch.

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Listening to: Don Tiki - Da T'ing He Grow

Prince to fans: No, fuck YOU!

2007-11-10T13:15:00.000-05:00

In the grand tradition of passive-aggressive diss songs, Prince has released "PFUnk" in response to PFU (h ear it here). He must really be pissed off because he sounds inspired for the first time in ages. This track illustrates perfectly why it's so difficult to remain a Prince fan. On the one hand, it's funkier than a sack o' grandaddies. Great melody and horn parts, hot guitar work, a nice reminder of what he's capable of doing. But the fact he can knock out a great song in such a short time just underscores what a cheat Planet Earth and 3121 were to the fans who paid for them. He's still completely in the wrong with this ridiculous attack on his fans, the sentiment he's expressing is pretty ugly and he seems to be addressing particular individuals in PFU with homophobic epithets. Could he possibly work harder to prove what an asshole he is? From RollingStone.com:

Prince Releases Diss Track As Battle With Fans Gets Funky

As you may have read, as part of their copyright crusade, Prince’s legal staff recently demanded that all images of the Purple One be removed from specific fan Web pages. Several sites banded together to form Prince Fans United, there was a brief pause in the action and now … a diss track.
In response, Prince registered the Web domain name “Princefamsunited.com” and posted a seven-minute funk jam called “PFUnk,” alerting fans to its presence on fan site message boards. The song makes no secret of its target: “The only reason you say my name is to get your fifteen seconds of fame, nobody’s even sure what you do,” Prince sings. “I don’t care what people may say, I ain’t gonna let it ruin my day.” Toward the end, Prince tells his fans, in his famed helium-like “Camille” voice, “I love all y’all, don’t you ever mess with me no more,” before taking out all his anger on his guitar. Prince goes as far as calling one person, likely a member of the PFU, “a big fat punk,” and threatens someone called “Weemolicious” by singing “Look here Weemolicious, you and your boyfriend, lemme tell you somethin’ right now, you run up on me again with words or otherwise, I’mma knock both you punks out.” He also sings that he wants digital music to “disappear.”

How did the fans, and the PFU, take to the diss track? With open arms and, surprisingly, dropped jaws. As one poster on the Housequake.com board said, echoing the general response, “It really is head and shoulders above anything on [Planet Earth] or 3121.” Another poster thought they discovered an unearthed B-side from 1987, if not for the topical lyrics. Even the union that gets the brunt of Prince’s bile, the PFU, celebrated the track they helped inspire.

Still, the question remains: Why did Prince’s team target specific Web sites and ask for photos of everything from Prince-inspired tattoos to album-cover images to be removed? Could it be that the sites penalized were bootlegging and file sharing concerts, or diverting traffic from Prince’s official site, 3121.com? Avera denies both claims, saying there’s no file sharing on the boards, and that all the sites route traffic to 3121.com when possible. The sites in question claim they were singled out because they operate message boards that are sometimes critical of the star. Prince does have a history of unleashing his purple wrath on online boards: He terminated the NPG Music Club’s message board, an official paid service for diehard fans, shortly after the release of 2001’s Musicology. “I signed in one day, everything was fine,” Karen Avera, spokesperson for PFU and Housequake moderator, said. “The next day I went and everything was gone. No warning.” Avera speculates negative reactions to the album on the board — which is similar to some of the fan criticism Prince’s Planet Earth received just a few months ago — was to blame.

The fan sites say they have always cooperated with the Paisley Park lawyers — that is, until now. When fan photos of Prince’s London concert marathon started surfacing on message boards, the lawyers asked that the photos be removed and replaced with shots provided by Prince-hired photographers. The fan sites gladly replaced the pictures. Now, however, the lawyers are demanding those photos be taken down. To date, Housequake.com has not removed the images, and since the site is based in Holland, Avera is unsure of whether the cease-and-desist letters are within their jurisdiction.

When Rolling Stone talked to John Giocobbi, the Managing Director of copyright protection agency Web Sheriff, regarding Prince’s battle with YouTube, Giocobbi said, “Prince has always been a very independently minded artist and kind of bold and pioneering in a way. It goes back largely to the kind of promise he had with Warner Bros., when he lost the right to use his own name and then he became The Artist Formerly Known As. And once he recovered his scars from that battle, he was a lot more savvy as a result of that too. And he’s a lot more kind of protective about his rights.” When asked whether the Web Sheriff is just going after illegal bootlegging of Prince videos, Giocobbi admitted that, “In essence we’re going after everything, which is why it’s kind of pioneering.”

As far as Avera is concerned, those message boards are going nowhere. “Oh, we’re going to keep the message boards,” Avera promises, “because the boards go far beyond just talking about Prince’s music. It’s a connection where a lot of people worldwide have come together to talk and make friendships.” Despite feeling unappreciated, and the threat of a looming lawsuit, Avera swears that she, and the PFU, will remain Prince fans. “With everything that’s going on, we continue to listen to his music. We’ll continue to buy his music, because we appreciate his music.”

So now the pioneer of web releases and podcasting wants digital music to disappear? Good luck. Not only is that genie out of the bottle, Prince uncorked it himself.

Recently on PFU:

PFU has been contacted by Prince's Management and we are currently in discussions. We are hopeful that an amicable resolution can be reached wherein all can co-exist peacefully on the internet. However, if the talks are unsuccessful, the Prince Fans United Group vows to continue its fight. In the meantime, Prince has provided "Prince Fans United" with the song named "PFUnk" for your listening pleasure.

Many members and visitors will doubtless have seen the wildly inaccurate statement today by AEG that "Prince is not suing his fans" and referring to the Prince Fans United sites as "phoney". Not only is this statement confusing, libellous and misleading, we have actually been informed by Prince's representatives that his PR company (Outside PR) sent this in error last night and it has been picked up by a few key media organisations today.
We will shortly be issuing a (heavily) revised joint statement, however in the meantime please be aware that stories circulating on the internet that refers to "phoney" fan websites are wildly inaccurate and should not be taken at face value. Outside PR have assured us that every measure is currently being taken to withdraw these articles.

I thought "Chelsea Rodgers" was the one really good track on Planet Earth, and there's a video up for it now at http://chelsearodgers.com/ featuring The Twinz. You know about The Twinz, right? (Not to be confused with the musical duo of the same name.) Prince has been squiring around these entertainers (I would never use the term video ho) who joined his tour as backup dancers and singers ever since former Paisley Park employee and possible stalker Manuela Testolini divorced him last year. Matching girlfriends- how very Hef of him.

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Listening to: Prince & The New Power Generation - Insatiable
via FoxyTunes

Paging Prince: Bitch, please.

2007-11-07T21:49:00.000-05:00

My name is Prince, and this is my bitchface

It's not easy being a Prince fan. The man who made some of the greatest music I ever heard also has a history of treating collaborators, associates, girlfriends and wives pretty despicably. (Possessed: The Rise and Fall of Prince was a real eye-opener.) His pseudomystical pronouncements, name changes, spiritual flip-flops and other Princely behavior that seemed oh so enigmatic and cool and rebellious when I was 18 look like tired shtick today. His tenuous grasp of the social and political issues he brings into his music makes me embarrassed for him. Some say his work is teeming with misogyny. I won't defend or convict him on that count, but read the lyrics from The Rainbow Children and decide for yourself. The whole religion thing... so upsetting I can't even go there. It's a case of love the art, feel strongly ambivalent about the artist.

He's really mean to his fans too. All my friends have heard the story of the humiliating sermon I watched him give one girl at a fanclub meet-and-greet. And incredibly, Prince is one of those rare artists who actually sues his fans. He attacked zines and websites run by fans solely to spread the love of his music and sued them out of existence. Why? Prince has a storied, contentious relationship with the media. He has addressed his critics directly in songs. Of course an utter narcissist wants zines and websites devoted to himself. Prince just wants them to be full of uninterrupted praise and worship. Anyone who was remotely critical got banned from Prince's official site. And copyright nonsense aside, the fans all know he went after the Uptown fanzine because they dared to criticize him. There are plenty of fawning, purple Kool-Aid-drinking "fams" (Prince's preferred term since "fan is short for fanatic") on the unofficial fansites but just as many fans who live to skewer his egregiously bad efforts and generally take the piss out of him. Clearly his fragile widdle ego can't handle it. The lawsuits are another way for Prince to silence his detractors and continue living in his hermetically sealed bubble full of sycophants, completely divorced from reality. And he's at it again now with the cease-and-desists.

But this time, I am ecstatically happy to report that the fans are fighting back! From http://www.princefansunited.com/:

In an extraordinary, but not unfamiliar move, the rock legend Prince is using an army of lawyers to launch attacks on his own fans. Several of the largest web communities dedicated to the artist have received notices to cease and desist all use of photographs, images, lyrics, album covers and anything linked to Prince's likeness. It is our belief that these threats are not made in an attempt to enforce valid copyright as Prince alleges in his threats, rather we believe they are attempts to stifle all critical commentary about Prince. We strongly believe that such actions are in violation of the freedom of speech and should not be allowed. Prince claims that fansites are not allowed to present any artwork with Prince's likeness, to the extreme that he has demanded removal of fan's own photographs of their Prince inspired tattoos and their vehicles displaying Prince inspired license plates. Prince's representatives have requested that the fansites provide them with "substantive details of the means by which you [the fansites] propose to compensate our clients [Paisley Park Enterprises, NPG Records and Anschutz Entertainment Group (AEG)] for damages..."
The owners of the three largest fansites supporting Prince: http://www.housequake.com/, http://www.princefams.com/ and http://www.prince.org/ have come together to fight back to what amounts to an injustice to the fansites and the very fans who have supported Prince's career, many since the very beginning nearly thirty years ago.
It is their hope that Prince will reconsider his position and allow these fansites to continue their existence without constant threats from Prince and his attorneys. Should this not be possible, the fansites are fully prepared to defend their position in the proper court of law, as well as fully prosecute any claims to which they are justly entitled.
The owners of housequake.com, princefams.com and prince.org acknowledge that, while Prince is entitled to control of his copyrights, it should be within the law. The law clearly provides for displaying of images of a celebrity's likeness for newsworthy events or matters which are considered to be public interest. All three websites feel that the photographs and/or likeness displayed on their websites clearly fall within the public interest category. Additionally, the use of photographs is legal based on the fair use doctrine, i.e. the displaying of album cover art, or the collage headers created by website members using a variety of different photographs.

I am so thrilled they are not buckling this time! I hope they post a tip jar so supporters can contribute to their legal fund.

Yo, Prince? Can we have a moment? Seriously man, fucking chill. Think about whether you can really afford to be this aggressively evil to your fan base so soon after the 70% Filler-tastic Planet Earth. You can only coast on twenty-eight-year-old goodwill for so long. You have to grow up and accept that you can't control what people say about you. You are biting the hand that feeds in the ugliest possible way, and like the majority of your fans I find your behavior disgusting and intolerable. I pledge never to spend another cent on a Prince CD, DVD, concert ticket or anything else that generates revenue in your general direction until your legal attacks on your fans cease and desist.

My name is Prince, and I use M.A.C. MoistureBlend NC20.

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Listening to: Prince - The Question Of U

via FoxyTunes

Tearoom habitués are hearby advised to use the craigslist personals

2007-11-06T16:07:00.000-05:00

Busts are busting out all over. Thank Larry Craig. I was going to post every time I read about one but quickly realized one could easily devote an entire blog to the subject. Here's the latest, involving (surprise) a politician.

Halloween music blogs to die for

2007-10-19T10:05:00.000-04:00

While sorting through and organizing my music collection I came across a couple of amazing blogs with tons of Halloween-related music free for the downloading. I'll be spending a lot of time at the Mostly Ghostly Music Sharing Blaaahhhggg!!! and Scar Stuff.

Jackolantern from Flaming pumpkins of death!

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Listening to: Zombina & the Skeletones - Nobody Likes You (When You're Dead)

Ghost Finder Camera

2007-09-30T18:44:00.000-04:00

Fellow Halloween geeks may appreciate:

Ghost Finder Camera

Just point and shoot. Tell them you saw something spooky as you take the shots. Camera automatically adds an eerie ghostly image to every scene. 35mm single use indoor/outdoor flash camera with 27 exposures.

Available here and here.

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Listening to: Nu:Tone - System

Latest gadgetry I'm geeked for

2007-09-25T12:16:00.000-04:00

Ford partnered with Microsoft to develop Sync, a system that lets you control your MP3 player and cell phone in your car with voice commands. Vehicles outfitted with Sync have an integrated dock and charger for your MP3 player and allow you to play your MP3s by speaking the name of the song or artist or even the genre of music. It will also play music from a thumb drive. The system works with your Bluetooth-enabled cell phone, giving you the hands-free speakerphone capability of OnStar without the overpriced airtime. It even reads your text messages for you, if you're into that. You can see it in action here and here.

Sync is available on select 2008 Ford, Lincoln and Mercury vehicles. With any luck this technology will be offered by other vehicle makers by the time my car lease is up.

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Now playing: Tiki Tiki Bamboooos - Exotica

Prince gets sue-happy again

2007-09-20T16:00:00.000-04:00

Hollywood Rag reports:

Prince Wants To Sue YouTube, Google, eBay, etc…...

Prince is to sue YouTube - in a bid "to reclaim his art on the internet".
The 'Purple Rain' singer is launching legal action against Google Inc. - who own the video-sharing website - for copyright infringement, in an effort to end the unauthorized use of clips of his performances and music videos.
A statement released on the star's behalf, said: "Prince believes that as an artist, the music rights must remain with the artist and copyrights should be protected across the board."
The pop superstar added that he could not accept YouTube had no control over what clips were posted on the site.
The statement continued: "YouTube are clearly able to filter porn and pedophile material but appear to choose not to filter out the unauthorized music and film content which is core to their business success."
YouTube insists it will work with the artist to monitor what music content appears on the site.
The website's chief lawyer, Zahavah Levine, said: "Most content owners understand that we respect copyrights, we work every day to help them manage their content, and we are developing state-of-the-art tools to let them do that even better."
Prince also plans to sue online auctioneers eBay and Pirate Bay, who are accused of encouraging music piracy.
The 'Controversy' singer has instructed Web Sheriff, a British-based company specializing in policing the internet for pirated content, to act on his behalf.
John Giacobbi, managing director of Web Sheriff, said: "Prince's actions are a brave and pioneering step to challenge the status quo and hand control over internet rights back to the artists."

Just as long as he doesn't go after my favorite file-sharing service, which is mercifully still below the radar and shall remain nameless. Anyway, that's week-old news. I just needed an excuse to post this pic.

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Now playing: Chaka Khan - Sign 'O' The Times

Religious dentistry

2007-09-18T23:15:00.000-04:00

Being a chronic procrastinator, I hadn't been to the dentist in way too long. First my dentist moved out of town and I dragged my feet about finding another one. Then I got laid off and was uninsured for a while. I should have gone as soon as I was hired at HappyTech, but here it is a year and a half later. With the possibility of another job change looming I finally decided I better go while I still have dental coverage. So I went to my HMO's website last week, plugged in my zip code and picked out a provider.

When I got to the office this morning ten minutes before they were officially open, I walked in to find the entire staff standing in a circle holding hands in the lobby. The dentist led them in a lengthy, wordy prayer in an oratory style that suggested many years of public prayer if not pulpit experience. He prayed for God to guide his hands as he performed his job. He asked for a special blessing on the dental assistant, the receptionist, the office manager, a specific request for each of his six staff members. He prayed for the patients who patronize their practice, those with appointments today and those he would see in the future. It went on forever. I stood there feeling awkward, not knowing if I should bow my head in respect or walk out. Finally just as I was about to leave they said their amens and greeted me as though this were the most normal thing on earth.

And I'm sorry, but it isn't. I mean no disrespect to anyone's religious beliefs, but a workplace is not the appropriate venue for such professions of faith. Pray to whatever deity it pleases you to worship in your home all day long if you want. Do it at your church. Do it among friends who share your beliefs. Do it privately in your car or your break room. Pray silently to yourself. (I understand most God believers think He can hear that too, right?) But don't make an ostentatious public display of it at your place of business, because that's just bullshit.

Afterwards, I was filling out the requisite intake form and of course it asked for my spouse/partner's contact info. Oddly, it also asked for the length of our relationship. Like, how could that possibly be relevant to my dental care? I had to take a minute to deliberate whether I should reveal any of this information in an office that is likely full of homophobes. Finally I decided what the hell, let them judge me. I had already judged them to be showy religious freaks.

He turned out to be a nice enough guy with a gentle touch. God did not intervene on behalf of my enamel though; he found four lucrative cavities to fill. I guess I'll keep going back to him so long as nobody preaches at me. I did show up before business hours and maybe their little ritual was not intended for my eyes. But what a surreal way to start my day.

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Listening to: Combustible Edison - Utopia

Subscribe to my blog. Again.

2007-09-07T17:11:00.000-04:00

If you are among the scores of dedicated readers who subscribe to Dr. Benway's Office by email so as never to miss a word of my scintillating wit and wisdom, you'll need to submit your address again to the form on your right. The old subscription service was broken so I changed to a better one.

One gay marriage I'll never approve of

2007-09-07T13:36:00.000-04:00

My first tech support job was at a typical nineties dot com. Those were heady times. We had free beer on Fridays, a lounge with arcade games and pool tables, all the usual excesses. Headquartered in the Bay Area, the ultra-progressive company had a female CEO and the highest concentration of gay men I had ever seen outside a bar. It was a working environment unlike any other I had experienced.

My friendliest (and gayest) coworker was Aaron, an aspiring artist. Aaron was tall, model-handsome, charismatic and universally loved. He even won employee of the year, for which he was presented a tiara. He and I were often the only people working the late shift and he'd regale me with tales of his wild party weekends in Saugatuck doing ecstasy and getting gangbanged at the infamous Farm Party. Like several gay men I've known, he was obsessed with Madonna. He wallpapered his cubicle with his drawings of her and passed the slow hours making remixes in Acid Music, including one memorable Madonna/Lynard Skynard mashup.

Then came the dot com bust and 9/11. Most of us were laid off and I lost touch with him. I hadn't thought of him in years, so imagine my shock when I was scanning the news sites and discovered Aaron just gay-married a bonafide celebrity: Andrew Sullivan. For the uninitiated, Sullivan is the conservative gay author and political blogger who notoriously blamed gay men for causing the AIDS pandemic through promiscuity. He was later exposed for trolling gay hookup sites for bareback sex- extra scandalous since he is HIV positive. He is so reviled in some quarters there are even blogs devoted to criticizing him.

The Aaron I knew was a liberal guy so there was more than a little cognitive dissonance when I learned he is paired up with that hypocritical sellout twat. I always thought he stood a fair chance of making a name for himself with his art or remixing. But now it seems more likely he'll go down in history as the guy who immortalized Sullivan's ass in acrylics.

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Now playing: The Moog Cookbook - More Than a Feeling

Free steak dinner at HappyTech

2007-09-05T14:23:00.000-04:00

At HappyTech I do tech support for a software product used by the auto industry. The product is such shite that we lost half the customers who signed up in the first year. Our boss called a meeting some time ago and told us in order to survive we had to become an outward facing, sales-oriented call center. Of course we bristled as we're all, to varying degrees, experienced in software support and did not sign on for a sales gig. But it was that or look for another job.

The software is far from an easy sell. It's buggy and user-unfriendly and the word spread quickly on industry message boards. The customer base is limited and most are already in long-term contracts with our vastly superior competitors. These are the minor deterrents, but the real barrier to sales is the über-slack environment in our office. As with any assignment we have been given, I was the only employee who took any initiative. Even with me making the lion's share of sales calls, pretty soon every potential customer in the country had been contacted and we were back to having nothing to do. Layoffs seem imminent despite periodic assurances to the contrary.

Various schemes for revitalizing our business have been proposed by our office manager, who is bipolar and kind of unstable but very ambitious when she's in her manic phase. The usual cycle is this: she proposes a grandiose plan to incentify sales and convinces everyone this will save our jobs, then corporate either shoots it down or defangs it to whatever level that keeps them from having to spend a cent. The latest scheme was to offer cash bonuses to the the regional Big Three reps who kept our product in a certain percentage of their dealerships and cash bonuses to the people in our office who sold the most subscriptions. This had the potential to secure the product a decent market share, but once corporate had effectively neutered the proposal we were left with a scheme that rewarded us with some measly gift certificates and a celebratory barbecue where the losing sales team would have to grill steaks for the winners.

My "team" won all three months of the sales challenge. Essentially I won singlehandedly as the guy they partnered me with joined in the middle of the project and I did all the heavy lifting. He and I scored Blockbuster Video gift cards for June and Outback Steakhouse cards for July. Today was the big barbecue so the mood here is light and jovial. The running gag has been that we got to eat a meal prepared by two people who never, ever cook. It wasn't bad at all though, and even though I had to sit at my desk and eat it looking at the same losers I see for eight hours every day, who can complain about a free steak dinner?

The boss said just to shut off the phones for a couple of hours so we can enjoy our steaks. At a help desk, people. Now that's customer service! Trained apes could do a better job of running a business. I'm outta here as soon as I can find another job. This place is truly circling the drain.

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Now playing: Shelby Lynne - Leavin'

Love in the champagne room?

2007-09-01T16:06:00.000-04:00

I have rarely sat in front of my PC and watched a full-length feature film, but I recently came across a link to The Great Happiness Space and was riveted to the screen by a world I never knew existed. The movie explores the phenomenon of Japan's host bars, where young women with money to burn go to party and flirt with suave male hosts skilled at separating them from their cash. There is really no analogue to this bar scene in the west but some aspects recall American strip clubs: the hosts' uncanny ability to wring currency out of customers, deluded patrons who keep going back in hopes of real romance, and the unspoken promises contained in a bottle of grossly overpriced champagne. The hosts are charismatic seducers who live and die by their charm. The most successful are undeterred by the moral dilemmas of the job and can earn the equivalent of $50,000 a month. The women who pay for their company are even more fascinating and surprising.

The 2006 documentary can be viewed it in its entirety here. It is also out on DVD and available from Netflix.

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Listening to: M.I.A. - Boyz

You still don't tell me why and no reply-y-y-y

2007-08-16T19:56:00.000-04:00

Meet the gay and Eurotrash Stars on 45 redux, Bearforce1. Damned if my jaded post-bear ass didn't have a giggle at them in spite of myself. Bonus points for the muscle twink who is, judging by the angle of his trucker hat, about to fuck shit up.

Ghetto Blaster

2007-08-01T10:04:00.000-04:00

My July mix goes out to the highly esteemed Astro, who once sent me some fantastic mixes.

the tracks:
1. Donny Hathaway - The Ghetto
2. Macy Gray - Ghetto Love
3. Håkan Lidbo - Sexy Robot
4. Morgan Heritage & Bounty Killer - Guns in the Ghetto
5. Dolly Parton - In the Ghetto
6. The Chemical Brothers - We Are the Night
7. Amp Fiddler & George Clinton - Waltz of a Ghetto Fly
8. Rick James - Ghetto Life
9. Simian Mobile Disco - It's the Beat
10. Laura Nyro - Stoned Soul Picnic
11. Salem Al Fakir - Dream Girl
12. The Spinners - Ghetto Child
13. Justice - Phantom Part I
14. The 5th Dimension - Paper Cup
15. Owusu & Hannibal - Watch Watch (Girls)
16. Prince - Chelsea Rogers
17. George Benson - The World is a Ghetto

notes:
Donny Hathaway was a soul singer, songwriter, pianist, arranger and producer. He is known for his solo work and his duets with Roberta Flack. "The Ghetto" appeared on his 1970 debut Everything is Everything.

Known for her distinctive raspy voice, Macy Gray defied convention to become a successful singer, songwriter, producer and actress. "Ghetto Love" is from her 2007 album Big.

Swedish producer Håkan Lidbo is a versatile composer of electronic music encompassing tech house, disco, electro, dub, synthpop and other genres. "Sexy Robot" is the title track from his 2002 release.

Morgan Heritage is a group comprised of the children of reggae singer Denroy Morgan. "Guns in the Ghetto" features Bounty Killer and can be found on the 2001 compilation 500% Dynamite.

Country singer, movie and TV star, and theme park owner Dolly Parton needs no introduction. "In the Ghetto" can be heard on 2003's The Bluegrass Collection.

UK electronic music producer duo The Chemical Brothers are leading proponents of the big beat sound who rose to fame amid the great "electronica" hype of the late nineties. "We Are the Night" is the title track from their 2007 release.

Amp Fiddler is the Detroit singer, songwriter, keyboardist and producer who worked with Parliament and Funkadelic. "Waltz of a Ghetto Fly" features George Clinton and is the title track from his 2004 solo debut.

Rick James revitalized Motown Records in the late seventies and early eighties with his fresh funk sound and outlandish style. "Ghetto Life" is from his 1981 magnum opus Street Songs.

Simian Mobile Disco are a duo of British producers known for their electro-house remixes. "It's the Beat" appears on their 2007 debut Attack Decay Sustain Release.

Laura Nyro was a singer-songwriter who blended pop, rock, jazz, R&B and show tunes into her own singular style. Best known as a composer, her songs became hits for The 5th Dimension, Barbra Streisand and other artists. "Stoned Soul Picnic" is from her 1968 LP Eli and the Thirteenth Confession.

Swedish singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Salem Al Fakir began as a child prodigy violinist. His music encompasses pop, soul, classical, jazz, folk and more. "Dream Girl" can be heard on his 2007 debut album This Is Who I Am.

Though they were the definitive Philly Soul group, The Spinners actually formed at my adopted hometown's Ferndale High School just outside Detroit in 1954. "Ghetto Child" appeared on their 1972 self-titled LP.

French duo Justice blend rock and dance music into highly accessible productions. "Phanton Part I" is from their acclaimed debut † aka Cross.

The 5th Dimension flirted with psychedelic soul while remaining rooted in sunny California pop. "Paper Cup" can be heard on their 1967 LP The Magic Garden. "Paper Cup" was written by Jimmy Webb, who also wrote "Wichita Lineman," "Up, Up and Away," "MacArthur Park," and "By the Time I Get to Phoenix."

Danish duo Owusu & Hannibal make music inspired by R&B, funk and broken beat. "Watch Watch (Girls)" appeared on their 2006 debut Living with Owusu & Hannibal.

Prince... you know who he is, right? "Chelsea Rodgers" is from his brand new album Planet Earth.

George Benson is a jazz guitarist and singer whose hits include "Give Me the Night," Turn Your Love Around," and "This Masquerade." "The World is a Ghetto" can be heard on his 1976 album In Flight.

The tragic madness of...

2007-07-25T15:37:00.000-04:00

Praise the Lord for Betty Butterfield, positively the weepiest Jesus-loving drag queen in Christendom.

Purple funk update

2007-07-20T10:39:00.000-04:00

Prince gave away copies of his new album Planet Earth bundled with the UK's Daily Mail last Sunday, predictably prompting music industry outrage:

The Entertainment Retailers Association said the giveaway "beggars belief... an insult to all those record stores who have supported Prince throughout his career... yet another example of the damaging covermount culture which is destroying any perception of value around recorded music."

Fans know Prince has always been ahead of the distribution curve, being among the first artists to podcast and release music on the web, so you can bet giving an album away is a move we'll see more of in the future. With the conventional music business crumbling the real money is in concerts anyway, especially when you can command three grand for a ticket (see below).

Planet Earth is still not out in the US but I snagged a copy via file sharing. Can't say I was blown away. It probably needs time to grow on me but so far I think there's one very good song (the disco-funkified "Chelsea Rodgers"), one goodish tune (country-tinged "The One U Wanna C") and eight bland, mediocre ones. Wendy and Lisa are rumored to have collaborated on some tracks, including the preachy "Lion of Judah".

We'll always have 1983 though. I really enjoyed the bootlegs from a 1983 Prince show posted at A Deeper Shade of Soul.

Finally, Prince has mastered the celebrity snub, reports A Socialite's Life:

Over the weekend, Prince delivered an impressive two-hour performance, with ticket-holders shelling out a whopping $3,000. Afterwards, he was scheduled to host guests in a private room the club, Flirt. However, when the artist currently known as Prince saw that he wasn't the first to arrive at the room, he decided to high-tail it back into his limo, where he basically hung out for the rest of the evening. Those waiting included Jon Bon Jovi, Leonardo DiCaprio and Londell McMillan, but Prince would not be swayed. From Fox News:
The guests drifted to Dune, a nearby club owned by Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss, who helped put on the big outdoor Prince show for 1,000 people on a field owned by the very private Ross School. Guests were heard singing, "Someday my prince will come." He did not.
Whatever. Prince can do what he wants. If you can afford to spend $3,000 to go see Prince, then I probably don't know you and have trouble sympathizing with you in the first place. And secondly, you gotta love the crazy. I hope he was in his car, mournfully playing that insane-looking guitar of his, while he lamented the pressures of being Prince.

Doesn't He know that's for date rapists?

2007-07-11T17:47:00.000-04:00

Jesus is thinking about wearing Axe Body Spray.

War & Peace

2007-07-07T11:28:00.000-04:00

My June mixes go out to razzy:

1. The Kleptones - War of Confusion
2. Peter Tosh - No Nuclear War
3. Salem Al Fakir - Devil Look
4. Yesterday's New Qunitet - Nuclear War
5. Culture Club - La Cancion de Guerra
6. Vanilla Fudge - Some Velvet Morning
7. Lucille Bogan - War Time Man Blues
8. Sinéad O'Connor - War
9. Bruce Haack - War
10. Parliament - I Misjudged You (alternate take)
11. Nikka Costa - Tug of War
12. Prince - The War

1. Prince - Peace
2. Owusu & Hannibal - A Million Babies
3. BT Express - Peace Pipe (Tom Moulton mix)
4. Dusty Springfield - What Are You Doing the Rest of your Life?
5. Build An Ark - Peace and Love
6. D'Angelo - When We Get By
7. Monette Moore - Peace, Sister, Peace
8. Cyndi Lauper - Fearless
9. Tori Amos - You Can Bring Your Dog
10. Millie Jackson & Isaac Hayes - Feels Like the First Time
11. Essra Mohawk - Life is Scarlet
12. The Exciters - Life, Love & Peace
13. Linda Scott - I've Told Every Little Star
14. Matmos - Tract (For Valerie Solanas)
15. Salem Al Fakir - Tell Me
16. Sister Rosetta Tharpe - Peace in the Valley
17. Erykah Badu - Kiss Me on my Neck
18. The Gaylads - Peace, Love &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; Understanding
19. Jason Forrest - INKhUK
20. Dolly Parton & Ladysmith Black Mambazo - Peace Train

notes
The Kleptones, one of my favorite mashup artists, has several excellent albums that are free to download on his website. "War of Confusion" appears on his 2006 album 24 Hours.

Reggae star Peter Tosh was a founding member of the Wailers, along with Bob Marley. "No Nuclear War" is the title track from his final album, released days before his murder in 1987.

Swedish singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Salem Al Fakir began his musical career as a child prodigy who toured at age 12 as a solo violinist. His musical influences are all over the map- pop, soul, blues, gospel, classical, jazz, folk and more. "Devil Look" can be heard on his 2007 debut album This Is Who I Am.

Yesterday's New Quintet is the alter ego of Otis Jackson Jr., better known as Madlib. A rapper, DJ, producer and multi-instrumentalist, his cover of Sun Ra's "Nuclear War" appeared on Sun Ra Dedication -- The Myth Lives On.

Culture Club were the British pop sensation fronted by the flamboyant Boy George. "La Cancion de Guerra" is an alternate version of "The War Song," from their 1984 release Waking Up with the House on Fire.

Vanilla Fudge were the Long Island, NY, band best known for their psychedelic rock versions of pop and R&B hits. Their cover of Lee Hazlewood's "Some Velvet Morning" is from their 1969 album Near the Beginning.

Lucille Bogan was the Mississippi-born singer best known for the raunchy blues classic "Shave 'Em Dry." Her lyrics dealt explicitly with taboo topics including sexuality, prostitution, and drug abuse. "War Time Man Blues" appeares on Lucille Bogan-Complete Recorded Works.

Sinéad O'Connor is the provocative Irish singer-songwriter whose career has often been surrounded by controversy. "War," a Bob Marley cover from her 2005 album Throw Down Your Arms, hews closer to the original than the a cappella version she sang on her infamous SNL appearance.

Bruce Haack was a pioneer of electronic music who played synthesizers he built himself and recorded several successful children's albums. "War" is from his 1970 album The Electric Lucifer.

American singer-songwriter Nikka Costa is relatively unknown in the U.S. but remains a pop star in Europe, Australia, Central and South America after scoring a series of platinum albums beginning at age 8. Daughter of a famed producer who worked with Sly Stone and her godfather Frank Sinatra, her sound encompasses soul, blues and funk. "Tug of War" can be found on her 2001 release Everybody Got Their Something.

"The War" is a live performance by the New Power Generation, led by Prince. A 1998 fanclub-only release, the extended funk jam imagines a dystopian society with familiar Prince themes of spirituality and the dehumanizing effects of technology.

Owusu & Hannibal are a Danish electronic duo who take their inspiration from classic R&B and funk. "A Million Babies" appeared on their 2006 debut Living with Owusu & Hannibal.

Several songs by disco funk outfit B.T. Express made the pop and R&B charts in the Seventies. "Peace Pipe," remixed by the legendary DJ Tom Moulton (creator of the 12" single) appeared on A Tom Moulton Mix.

A versatile singer of R&B, pop, standards and even country, legendary UK star Dusty Springfield enjoyed a varied career spanning forty years. "What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life" can be heard on the 1999 compilation Dusty in London.

Build An Ark are a Los Angeles collective numbering twenty members who "formed in an effort to encourage peace and love in the world." Their 2004 album Peace with Every Step, on which "Peace and Love" appears, incorporates, soul, jazz, African rhythms and spoken word performance.

Singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and producer D'Angelo was one of the pioneers of the neo-soul sound and became something of a sex symbol following the video for "Untitled (How Does It Feel)". "When We Get By" appears on his seminal debut, Brown Sugar.

Monette Moore was a blues and swing singer who recorded and toured extensively in the 1920's. "Peace, Sister, Peace" appears on the 1998 compilation Female Blues: The Remaining Titles.

Singer, songwriter and actress Cyndi Lauper was among the biggest-selling artists of the Eighties and one of the first to benefit from the exploding popularity of MTV. Her unique vocal style, four octave range and mixture of pop and new wave sounds made She's So Unusual a worldwide hit and "Time After Time" has been covered by over 120 artists. "Fearless" is from her 2005 album The Body Acoustic.

Tori Amos is a singer and songwriter known for her skillful piano playing and her confessional, cryptic and sometimes confrontational lyrics. "You Can Bring Your Dog" appears on her 2007 release American Doll Posse.

Part R&B singer and part standup comic working blue, Millie Jackson is known for her rich soulful vocals (often compared to Gladys Knight) as well as the racy spoken interludes on her albums and in her live shows. Isaac Hayes is a singer, songwriter and producer of funk and soul music. His spoken word interludes are considered a precursor to modern rap. "Feels Like the First Time" appeared on their album of duets, Royal Rappins.

Essra Mohawk is a little known singer-songwriter who performed as part of Frank Zappa's Mothers of Invention before releasing a string of acclaimed solo albums. She also wrote hits for Vanilla Fudge, The Shangri-Las, Tina Turner and Cyndi Lauper and contributed vocals to several Schoolhouse Rock songs. "Life Is Scarlet" is from her 1967 debut Sandy's Album Is Here at Last!

R&B quartet The Exciters were one of the first early Sixties girl groups. Their tough, aggressive sound paved the way for acts like the Ronettes and The Shangri-Las. (Random factoid: producer L.A. Reid is the son of members Brenda Reid and Herb Rooney.) I found "Life, Love & Peace" on the compilation The Doors Of Perception: Dope Funk, Psychedelic Soul, & Acid Jazz From New York City 1970-74.

Linda Scott was an early Sixties pop singer with a string of hits to her credit. She also appeared as a regular cast member on Where the Action Is, an American Bandstand spinoff. I first heard the song on the Mulholland Drive soundtrack.

Experimental electronic duo Matmos are notable for their odd sourcing of sounds as well as their production work on two Björk albums. "Tract (For Valerie Solanas)" appeared on their 2006 album The Rose Has Teeth in the Mouth of the Beast.

Sister Rosetta Tharpe was the first great recording star of gospel music and among the first to perform gospel in concert halls and nightclubs. Strongly influenced by blues, swing and jazz, she crossed over to pop success and worked with greats like Cab Calloway and Benny Goodman. "Peace in the Valley" can be heard on her 1960 recording Sing Sister Sing.

Erykah Badu is another pioneer of neo-soul, incorporating R&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;B, jazz, and hip-hop influences into her sound. The singer-songwriter is known for her her distinctive vocals, which have frequently been compared to Billie Holiday. "Kiss Me on my Neck" is one of my favorite tracks from her acclaimed 2000 release Mama's Gun.

The Gaylads were a successful Jamaican rocksteady trio who scored a series of hits in the Sixties and Seventies. "Peace, Love & Understanding" is from their 1970 recording Fire and Rain.

Jason Forrest, who also recorded under the moniker Donna Summer, is an electronic artist whose laptop compositions combine familiar samples into glitchy breakcore reconstructions. "INKhUK" is on his 2004 album The Unrelenting Songs of the 1979 Post Disco Crash.

Country singer, movie and TV star, theme park owner- if there's any artist on this mix who needs no introduction it's Dolly Parton. Ladysmith Black Mambazo are a South African a cappella chorus who gained worldwide recognition with their work on Paul Simon's Graceland album. This version of the Cat Stevens classic was also remixed into a popular dance hit.

Boyz

2007-06-25T23:07:00.000-04:00

New awesomeness from M.I.A. : the video for "Boyz", from her forthcoming album Kala.

Don't buy antibacterial soap!

2007-06-21T10:45:00.000-04:00

I read about the potential dangers of triclosan back in nursing school. I have avoided antibacterial soaps ever since and I preach the word to anyone who will listen. Now major scientific publications are cautioning against their use. Here's why you should avoid products labeled as antibacterial or containing triclosan:

1) Soaps and detergents are naturally antibacterial. Germ-killing additives are unnecessary and numerous studies have shown they do little or nothing. Why are such soaps even sold? The antibacterial label is a marketing gimmick that feeds on our phobia of germs. One manufacturer's soap sold so well that competitors followed suit, and soon grocery store shelves were full of the familiar orange-colored hand soaps, dish detergents, etc.

2) Efforts are underway to ban triclosan, the antibacterial additive used in a startling array of consumer products. Classified as a pesticide by the EPA, triclosan carries numerous health risks. Chemically related to dioxin, it is a suspected carcinogen. It belongs to a class of chemicals that can accumulate to toxic levels in your body fat and damage every organ and system in your body. Triclosan also ends up in ground water, where it is thought to kill beneficial algae and disrupt ecosystems.

3) There is growing evidence that use of antibacterial products helps to create drug-resistant superbacteria. These germs cause highly lethal new forms of tuberculosis, pneumonia, salmonella, meningitis and other diseases that do no respond to antibiotic treatment.

I urge everyone to read labels and avoid buying any product containing triclosan. It is used in soaps and detergents, toothpastes, makeup, deodorants, acne medications and other toiletries. It is also sold under the trade name Microban, which is used to treat toys, clothing, furniture, appliances and other household products. You do not need this stuff in your house. It has no proven benefit and it may actually hurt you and your family.

See also:
Antibacterial Products May Do More Harm Than Good
When chlorine + antimicrobials = unintended consequences
Problems with Triclosan and Antibacterial Products

But Mommy, I wanna ride the Anal Probe!

2007-05-29T21:41:00.000-04:00

The AP reports:

ROSWELL, N.M. - Businesses here have been cashing in on the UFO craze for years — paintings and replicas of UFOs and space aliens adorn downtown buildings, and even the McDonald’s and Wal-Mart are UFO- and space-themed.

Now city officials want to take it to another level with a UFO-themed amusement park, complete with an indoor roller coaster that would take passengers on a simulated alien abduction.

“Nobody will be harmed and everybody will be returned, hopefully, in the same shape,” concept designer Bryan Temmer said Friday.

The park, dubbed Alien Apex Resort, could open as early as 2010.

In other amusement park news:

Maverick, Cedar Point's 17th coaster, will open months late after a major redesign. The heartline roll inversion, widely believed to be the ride's most exciting element, had to be removed when testing determined G-forces on that section of track were excessively high.

Opening this year with its heartline roll intact is the most talked about new coaster for 2007: Dollywood's Mystery Mine. The first of its kind in the U.S.- a Gerstlauer Euro-fighter with a 95° drop- Mystery Mine is earning fevered praise from coaster enthusiasts for its compact thrill-packed layout, innovative design and elaborate theming. I'll be riding this puppy in a couple of weeks and I am so excited I could pee myself.

Deep inside Bambi Woods

2007-05-23T12:53:00.000-04:00

Bambi Woods is one of adult cinema's most enduring mysteries. A pert blonde with pretty girl-next-door looks, she starred in Debbie Does Dallas, the most successful x-rated film of all time. Afterwards she made three more movies then vanished from the public eye. Rumors ran rampant as to her fate. She died of a drug overdose. She was snuffed by the mafia who controlled the industry. She was killed while having sex with a horse for a film called Debbie Does Farmland. A recent documentary about Debbie Does Dallas focused on Bambi's disappearance and the filmmaker's thwarted attempts to locate her.

I am fascinated with all things related to seventies adult films and have read most everything in print about Bambi. So of course I was thrilled to hear that she is alive and well, married for over twenty years and raising her teenagers in blessed anonymity. She recently gave an interview to YesButNoButYes that debunked much of the documentary and just about every word of her Wikipedia entry:

Prologue
Part One
Part Two

Now, please enjoy this totally safe for work G-rated clip reel from Debbie Does Dallas:

Hooray for RSS feeds!

2007-05-16T20:16:00.000-04:00

I was happy to see that Things My Boyfriends Says finally made some new posts, or at least issued some new RSS feeds. It's a funny blog. My favorite quote:

"You shouldn't buy me things. Save your money for unicorn rides or whatever it is girls spend money on."

And by the way, if you're not using an RSS feed reader yet, what's wrong with you? They allow you to subscribe to your favorite websites so that all updates are sent to your inbox. I have only used Google Reader- the most idiot-proof of the bunch- for a few months and it has changed my life, people. I can't imagine surfing the innertubes any other way.

You need a feed reader. Period. You can take a tour of Google Reader here.

Farewell to Falwell

2007-05-16T16:13:00.000-04:00

Jesus never really liked the guy.

Prince Stage Humped By Fan

2007-05-15T11:00:00.000-04:00

As headlines go, it doesn't get much better than that. Best Week Ever reports:

Check out this pic from a surprise concert Prince did in London. Apparently the story behind the picture is that his purple majesty brought a couple of fans onto the stage. One got a little too close (some audience members are reporting the fan actually grabbed Prince face and kissed it), so as a joke Prince dropped to the ground and put up his hands. But that’s when the chick decided to go the extra mile and mount him. Cue bodyguards to haul crazy fan off to concert jail. It makes for a great Kodak moment–Get it framed for your jail cell, crazy fan!–but still, this never should have happened. Doesn’t the woman understand that this is not how you treat Prince? He is a tiny man, for God’s sake. Straddling him is like straddling a young boy. The fan’s lucky it was concert security who took her away and not Chris Hanson. Let’s not let something like this ever happen again, people. For future reference, if you’re ever in a situation where you see Prince on the ground, these are the acceptable things you can do:

* Help him up. (Gently. Remember, he’s tiny. He probably has fragile wrists.)
* Offer him a Band-Aid. He might have skinned a knee.
* Chastise the ground. Make the ground really regret whatever it did to make Prince fall.
* Get him a pillow. You never know, Prince may just be on the ground because he’s tired and wants a nap.
* Spray paint the ground around him purple. It will make Prince more comfortable.
* Call Carmen Electra. Prince created her. She’ll know what to do. (Note: This is the only situation in which you should take advice from Carmen Electra.)
* Call Life Alert. This is what you do anytime you see a frail person go down. You can do this pressing the button on the pendant Prince will most likely have around his neck. The button will signal the Life Alert monitoring center, which will get Prince help fast.

Jesus was in a new wave band

2007-05-14T12:18:00.000-04:00

Jesus Christ's Blog: I got the music in me. Whoo!

This is what it smells like when doves cry

2007-05-10T19:40:00.000-04:00

Y'all should know by now I can't let a Prince-related news item go unmentioned. NME reports:

Prince is set to launch his own perfume.

The name of the fragrance, 3121, is also the name of his last studio album, which was released in 2006.

According to official site 3121perfume.com, it's described as "a kaleidoscope of rich florals...Xquisite (sic), Mysterious, Xotic (sic)".

The perfume is set to go on sale on July 7...

As previously reported Prince will perform in London this summer for 21 nights, kicking off with seven shows at the 02 Arena on August 1, 3, 4, 7, 10, 11 and 14 as part of the Earth Tour.

Only true fanatics like me will know this is not Prince's first foray into the world of fragrance. In 1995 he released Get Wild, a perfume named after his New Power Generation single. (You can hear it here.) Apparently the perfume stunk to high heaven but it's becoming a collector's item.

Consequences and repercussions

2007-05-07T17:46:00.000-04:00

Normally people get away with murder at my job. My manager Dick was on the phone with a customer today guffawing about "banging some Oriental chick in Fort Worth" and doubling over with laughter to hear her Texan accent. Dick makes vulgar and offensive remarks to customers on a regular basis, all in full earshot of the boss's office. Lois has a fluttery, high-strung hissy if any work gets assigned to her and makes every attempt to dump her work onto other people. Kurt does absolutely nothing but surf eBay all day and no longer even keeps up the pretense of looking busy.

But today, in a shocking reversal, someone in my office actually paid for his misdeeds. Maybe things are finally shaping up at HappyTech.

You'll remember Irv, my coworker who had a large stash of porn saved to a company computer. He was never disciplined because it couldn't be proven he was the culprit, but as a result we had our web-surfing privileges taken away temporarily and now the boss watches us all more closely. Everyone on the help desk developed a seething resentment of Irv, exacerbated by the vast disparity in our salaries. (Thanks for spreading that around, Dick.) The received wisdom used to be that Irv is Teflon. Nobody else in the office can do his job and firing him would prove disastrous.

Apparently his behavior has become more erratic lately though. There have been murmurs of odd behavior at meetings, his punctuality has faltered and the customers he trains have been calling the help desk with all sorts of bizarre misconceptions he planted in their heads. Last Friday morning Irv called in and said he'd be running a few minutes late, then he never showed up or called back. Nobody has ever done anything like that at HappyTech in the years I have worked there. Furthermore, when our manager tried to call him both the home and cell numbers he provided were wrong numbers.

He was back today but left at lunchtime. I assumed he had another off-site meeting until Dick told me, "He has been suspended without pay for the remainder of the week but I can't say more." Dick slings every bit of gossip he can get his paws on so if he can't say more something major is going down. Another indication: people are being cross-trained to do Irv's job. Looks like he's not so indispensable anymore.

The font of horror

2007-04-26T16:26:00.000-04:00

HappyTech used to have a fake IT guy so woefully underqualified for the position that he eventually left in shame for a menial job at some hospital. When I took over as technical writer I was mortified- mortified, I tell you- to see the documents he had been sending out to our customers. Not only were they confusing, badly-written instructions, he had printed them in a butt-ugly, juvenile-looking font intended for use on day care signage and flyers for adult baby parties. No wonder nobody took us seriously!

Fortunately there are those among us who understand my trauma, and I applaud their efforts in the fight to ban Comic Sans. Here's an interview from Earz with one of the brave souls spearheading the campaign:

Why Ban Comic Sans

THE GROWING CAMPAIGN TO BAN A FONT
By Martin Skivington
Posted Sunday, 25 Mar 2007 03:42:23 GMT

Somewhere in the murky underworld of graphic design there is a band of renegade activists who answer to no-one, and are willing to fight against anyone using the Comic Sans font.

You know the font-- it's goofy-looking and a bit cheese. You will have seen it used everywhere, from movie posters and powerpoint presentations, to corporate logos and car park signs. So what's the problem?

Folks behind the 'Ban Comic Sans' campaign say it's disrespectful to the old art of typography. It's use implies naivety and silliness, and should be confined to pink lettering on little girls' bikes-- and not on serious media forms.

But what of the campaigners-- a shadowy bunch, they use quasi-religious terms like "the sanctity of typography" in their propaganda, while appealing to the "working man" to join their campaign erradicating a simple computer font.

So are they a dangerous militia? Or just some peeved designers armed with little more than stickers and an artistic temperament. I spoke to the movement's head-- who I'll refer to only as "Dave" --to find out if it's all about art, or all a bit fart.

Earz: I assume that you lot at 'Ban Comic Sans' are designers?

Yes, that's correct. My wife Holly and I are both graphic designers, and when we realized that we shared a common disgust for inappropriate Comic Sans usage we decided that rather than just complain about it we should take action.

Earz: Why, according to your manifesto, should comic sans be banned?

In short, it's just not safe for unregulated public use. It should be handled like controlled substances or firearms, and should be used only by licensed professionals in very specific settings. Since we can't have it that way, I'm afraid it should be banned altogether. As an aside, I've actually used Comic Sans for web design appropriately in its intended context: http://www.gorillamart.com/gallery.html

Earz: Do you find in the design world your campaign gets a lot of respect, is it only lay designers who go around using comic sans?

We get letters all the time from designers thanking us for starting the campaign. Some have shown the site to their clients who "just adore" Comic Sans and want to use it for their corporate communications. At least a few corporate identity catastrophes have been averted in that way. I suspect that most trained professionals would rarely find occasion to use Comic Sans, but I've heard that professional graphic designers for Disney have used it.

Earz: Are there any major guilty parties you'd like to name and shame?

I guess I just did in that last response. I won't name the hospital, but there was one with a sign in front of their building which stated "Accepting New Patients" in Comic Sans. A ban comic sans sticker was applied to the sign and about a month later the sign was replaced with the same message set in much more dignified Helvetica. I don't know if that helped them gain new patients or not, but the new sign was only up for a short time which would suggest that it did.

Earz: I found a weird website on typography, it was written in Italian I think, and had images of a gravestone lettered in comic sans. What does that say to you?

That would only be appropriate if the deceased were a clown or comedian, but other than that, I'd come back to haunt whoever did that if I were the dead guy.

Earz: With regards to the campaign... Are people listening? Or are you the lunatic-fringe of the design world, like the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is to Christianity?

I think people are listening. The hospital sign person did. The whole campaign is a bit tongue-in-cheek, mind you. We know there are bigger issues in the world like war, pollution, and poverty, but this particular issue did seem to need a voice which it found in our campaign. For every person who sends an angry email telling us to "get a life, it's just a font" we get about 20 praising the campaign. No kidding.

Earz: What are your next moves, and where do you see the campaign going? What is your message to the world?

I've given some thought to collaborating with some different artists and designers to breathe some new life into the campaign, but haven't pursued that to date. If anyone's interested in collaborating with us they can contact us through the site. All on it's own, the campaign has spawned some similar campaigns in France and the Netherlands.

So I think the message is catching on and spreading as it resonates with people just from the website, flyers, and stickers we've done. We get 200+ visitors to our website daily so people are hearing the message. If after visiting the site they think for just a few seconds longer before they select a typeface for their next email or sign they're about post in the company breakroom, I'd say we've done our part.

Our message to the world? BAN COMIC SANS, of course! Thanks for the interview, and have a Comic Sans free day.

Thanks to the eloquent and far-from-shadowy Dave Combs for participating in the interview. I personally agree with his and Holly's opinion--the gravestone clinched it.

Using comic sans in serious literature is akin to wearing pink to a funeral, and should be avoided at all costs by persons with a brain. For more information, stickers and propaganda on the ban comic sans campaign, check the link below.

www.bancomicsans.com

Now we do the dance of joy

2007-04-24T10:07:00.000-04:00

At HappyTech we support software for a major auto manufacturer; let's call them Schmysler. Our customer-facing identity is that we're another department of Schmysler and customers reach us through an extension on their help desk. Fortunately HappyTech is a separate entity that operates at a different location, where we don't have to deal with the rigid, uptight environment of a corporate behemoth's headquarters.

With our business in a slump, the boss has been investigating moving us to the Schmysler offices as a cost-saving measure. Which would suck hardcore. We'd have a tighter dress code. We'd be subject to lots of call monitoring, statistical goals and quality assurance bureaucracy. A couple of my coworkers are so spoiled by this den of slack we're in now that they wouldn't last two months at corporate. If they didn't quit they'd be fired once it became clear how little they actually do. Then all their work would be shifted onto good old reliable me.

Worst of all, web surfing would be severely restricted and all web traffic monitored. I couldn't even check my private email. I realize most people don't get the down time or the freedom to spend much of the day web surfing at work. But it's what I prize most about my job and the main reason I'm still here after a year of lousy pay and ridiculously inequitable work distribution. I'd be miserable at HQ and would have to devote all my spare time to finding another job.

The threat of the move has loomed for a couple of months. But the boss just announced the great news that HappyTech has re-upped the lease on our current office space for another three years. A pictorial of my reaction:

Praise the Lord!

2007-04-20T19:23:00.000-04:00

He has His own blog.

Respect that vagina

2007-04-20T10:27:00.000-04:00

If you prowl the innertubes much you may have come across her. Alexyss Taylor, feminist author and host of her own public access show, preaches the gospel of Vagina Power. Why do I want to move to Atlanta so as never to miss another show? Her hilariously graphic descriptions of psychosexual relationship dynamics? Her oft-mortified mother looking on from the McMahon seat? Whatever it is, I don't even care if she's real or another lonelygirl15. From the moment she used the phrase "pussy control" I knew I ♥ Alexyss and I want her to be my BFF.

Respect that vagina

Piloting the pussy on Halloween

The man that is living to ejaculate? He's in a predator mode.

Look out for penis power

Salem Al Fakir - This Is Who I Am

2007-04-19T09:45:00.000-04:00

Salem Al Fakir is an immensely talented singer, songwriter, producer and multi-instrumentalist from Sweden. This Is Who I Am debuted in the US last month. Several tracks recall Lewis Taylor with their blend of soul and seventies rock influences, but this album encompasses many more genres. I also hear echoes of early Prince in his work. I first heard about him in this review on Cool Hunting:

One of the most exciting artists I’ve encountered lately, Salem Al Fakir (first mentioned on CH six months back in an article about upcoming Scandinavian talents) released his first full-length solo album, This is Who I Am, in January in Sweden. In the six weeks since its release, it has been on the top ten Swedish album charts and just this week went gold.

Raised in Sweden by his Syrian father and Swedish mother, Salem was an unmistakable child prodigy, touring Russia as a solo violinist at 12. Like other über-talents before him—Prince, Omar, D’angelo, Stevie Wonder—Salem now plays virtually every instrument. On This is Who I Am he plays them all in addition to writing, arranging, producing and mixing. His virtuosic abilities on the violin and keyboard instruments are most obvious. But he also holds things down nicely on the drums, bass, guitar, xylophone and who knows what else.

In contrast to his precociously adult arrangements, Salem sings imperfectly with an almost childlike quality. That said, I like his voice and it works. Being the consummate musician that he is, he must know it’s his weakness and perhaps the title reflects that.

Though barely old enough to remember the 80s, one of Salem’s many gifts is an ability to craft sophisticated and catchy pop songs fusing the refined feel and rich arrangements of the 70s with the musical simplicity and catchiness of the 80s. His songs are playful and often unfashionably pretty and upbeat, with melodic keyboard solos and bright-eyed lyrics refreshingly free of irony. Short instrumental interludes between radio-friendly songs showcase his skill and deep musicality.

As the title suggests, This is Who I Am is a multifaceted collection of personal-feeling songs. The scope of styles he tackles is staggering, including rock, jazz, soul, folk, melodic pop, classical, blues, gospel and more with influences as diverse as Steely Dan, The Motown Sound, Stevie Wonder, TV theme songs, and Earth Wind and Fire.

Clearly Salem Al Fakir can do just about anything he wants musically. But unlike others before him who’ve had innate talent without taste and restraint (leading to numerous unlistenable self-indulgent “masterpieces”), Salem is thankfully blessed with both and we are all the better for it.

(Reposted from my MOG, where you can hear several songs and watch more videos from This Is Who I Am.)

Esquivel – King of Space-Age Pop

2007-04-18T13:29:00.000-04:00

Esquivel is my favorite composer of exotica, lounge and space age pop music. He took a zany approach to the sonic wallpaper of cocktail lounge music that flirted with parody, spiking it with quirky instrumental interjections and singers cooing nonsense syllables. Esquivel’s production style makes for great headphone listening. A pioneer of stereo recording, he sometimes directed two bands in separate studios by closed circuit.

The Space Age Pop Music Page has a detailed bio with discography and sound clips, excerpted below:

Juan Garcia Esquivel was born in Mexico in 1918, After mastering the piano, he taught himself composition and arranging when he was fourteen and headed a 30-piece orchestra by age 17.

Esquivel honed his talents with a 24-piece orchestra at Mexico City’s popular radio station, XEW . In addition to writing jingles, he composed an original soundtrack every day for Panseco, a popular radio comedian. “The entire orchestra would arrive at ten o’clock in the morning,” he recalled recently, “the comedian would give me the script for the day, and the boy who set up the music stands would give each musician a pencil, an eraser, and blank music paper.” By the time the comedian’s show aired at 8:00 p.m., Esquivel had composed and arranged the score and rehearsed the orchestra.

When he first arrived in Hollywood in January 1958 to record “Other Worlds, Other Sounds” for RCA , the record company gave him just five hours of studio time to record the twelve tunes. Esquivel had rehearsed the orchestra so well that he finished in three and a half. He used the remaining hour and a half to rehease and record an entire second album’s worth of material with a smaller combo, released as “Four Corners of the World.”

Later albums became more elaborate—and more expensive to record. 1962’s “Latin-Esque” required stereo separation so total that the orchestra was split into two parts and placed in two entirely separate studios a block apart, linked by closed-circuit TV and headphones. Esquivel conducted both orchestras simulaneously, recording the album in the new 4-channel method. As with all his recordings, there was no overdubbing. Each tune was recorded live, though Esquivel was such a perfectionist that many takes were usually required.

Esquivel wrote, arranged, and performed incessantly, working for 32-hour stretches and then sleeping for eight. His live show, “The Sights and Sounds of Esquivel,” had a 12-year gig at the Stardust Hotel in Las Vegas, and toured other cities, and Esquivel also found time to compose and record for dozens of television series (including Markham, The Tall Man, The Bob Cummings Show, Kojak, Charlie’s Angels, Simon and Simon, and Magnum PI, among many others), and record several more lps for a total of eleven domestic releases. When his orchestra broke up in 1974, he returned to Mexico where he continued to record for film and television; an album tied to a children’s TV series sold more than a million copies in 1978.

Esquivel’s lasting influence can be felt especially on TV soundtracks. He not only provided music for many series, but his style can be readily discerned in many others of the same period. The percussion and brass arrangements in the theme to “I Dream of Genie,” for instance, fairly drips with Esquivel style.

See also:

Juan García Esquivel on Wikipedia

Esquivel’s Allmusic bio

(Cross-posted from my MOG)

Essra Mohawk

2007-04-17T15:03:00.000-04:00

Essra Mohawk is one of my favorite semi-obscure artists. Born Sandra Hurvitz, she began as a songwriter for other artists and was a member of Frank Zappa's Mothers of Invention before launching her solo career. She changed her name to Essra Mohawk (Mohawk being her husband's surname) in 1969. In 1970 she released Primordial Lovers, which was named one of the best twenty-five albums ever made by Rolling Stone, and a string of acclaimed albums followed. But record company mismanagement hampered her career and she never got the recognition she deserved in a market flooded with talented female singer/songwriters.

One reviewer called her voice "a remarkable instrument -- not the shrill piccolo of Joni Mitchell, nor the darker, mesmerising recorder of Laura Nyro, but more a multi-range brass and woodwind hybrid yet to be invented." Essra opened for the Grateful Dead, Cream, Procol Harum, and Jimi Hendrix. She has sung with John Mellencamp, Carole King and Al Jarreau. Her vocals appeared on the Schoolhouse Rock songs, “Interjections!”, “Sufferin’ Till Suffrage”, and “Mother Necessity.” Her songs have been recorded by The Shangri-Las, Vanilla Fudge, Tina Turner, and Cyndi Lauper, who had a number three hit with Essra's "Change of Heart."

Essra still tours and records. Her latest album, "Love Is Still the Answer", was released last year.

This article is cross-posted from my MOG, where you can also find relevant audio and video clips.

See also:
Wikipedia entry
Allmusic bio
2003 interview

We're the Stains, and we don't put out

2007-04-12T12:31:00.000-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains, my favorite flick from the eighties, got MeFi'ed yesterday. This influential but criminally ignored film inspired a whole generation of feminist punk bands. The movie's official site promises an upcoming DVD release but no date is forthcoming. I'm practically salivating for those extras and commentary tracks but for now I'll have to be content with my grainy bootleg copy.

A great mini-documentary about the film.

"Join the Professionals" performed by The Looters, a.k.a. Steve Jones and Paul Cook of the Sex Pistols, Paul Simonon from the Clash, and actor Ray Winstone.

The inauspicious debut of the Stains.

The Stains rip off "Join the Professionals".

"Join the Professionals" covered by Nasty Ho.

See also:
Bright Lights Film Journal review
Film Threat review
Cashiers Du Cinemart review
Nerve.com article

HappyTech comes through

2007-04-11T11:02:00.000-04:00

Everyone at HappyTech is concerned about our dwindling customer base. Up to now there has been a lot of hand-wringing and very little action. Management finally did a little cheerleading and announced they're going to do something about it. We're launching a sales program that will scare up some desperately needed new business. This has been talked up before but now there's actual money and effort behind it. It might be too little too late, but at least some steps are being taken to save our business. I feel marginally more secure about my job.

Gordon, our boss, says he is optimistic about the company's future, but what else is he going to say? Selling our software is an uphill battle. Our fledgling product is competing with many older, well-established ones, and those companies have a large chunk of the market locked into exclusive contracts. We rolled out our software with nearly twice the customers we have now, but scheduled enhancements to our software were delayed again and again. The word spread that our product is crap and scores of subscribers bailed. Gordon feels that we can lure many of them back with ongoing improvements to the product and aggressive sales. I call that cockeyed optimism, and not just because of his lazy eye. If I bought software that was integral to running my business and found it sorely lacking, it seems unlikely I'd want to try it out again in six months. Our end users are too busy to be beta testers, let alone on their own dime, when they already have another solution that works better. I think our best bet is to go after new customers who didn't see the older, worse editions of our software and hope they haven't heard any of the negative buzz. Since I'm part of the sales force maybe I can push things in that direction.

Annual reviews were yesterday. One by one, my coworkers marched into the conference room with the solemnity of the condemned. They all came out looking sheepish and stung, then spent the rest of the day grumbling about their small raises. I, on the other hand, practically skipped into my meeting and came out with a big shit-eating grin. It speaks volumes about this office full of fuck-ups that I can goof off as much as I do and still be considered the star performer.

I got a 25% raise (half now, half in October), even more than I hoped for. The little bug I put in Dawn's ear helped my case. Gordon said he fought to get me an even higher increase than originally planned in hopes I would stop looking for another job.

The boss also officially relaxed the restriction on web surfing. It was almost more good news than I could handle in one day.

Image overhaul

2007-04-06T16:55:00.000-04:00

Nothing says "slow Friday at work" like a total blog makeover.

If you subscribe to this blog by email, you may need to sign up again as the title has changed.

Pay raise politics

2007-04-04T11:13:00.000-04:00

After a long meeting with my office manager Dawn yesterday, I'm web surfing at work again. As I told her, one coworker saved a bunch of porn on a company PC and two others never do a damned thing. If all that flies, there's no way in hell they're going to fire their hardest worker for web surfing. As predicted, our boss Gordon never implemented any monitoring measures. Dawn says as long as I'm not surfing blatantly when he's in the room it's fine.

When I started at HappyTech I had been temping for peanuts at some truly horrible jobs. Desperate to get someplace with health benefits and better pay, I gave a very low salary requirement to get hired. Since I have proven to be an asset to the company and have eight years of experience in the field, there's no reason why I shouldn't have a significantly higher salary now. Especially since I found out one of my do-nothing coworkers makes way more than me. Back in December I told Gordon I was barely making ends meet and was about to take on an additional $600 a month in car expenses. I explained that I like working here but would be forced to look for another job if I don't get a significant increase soon. He has been promising that raise ever since. A while ago he told me he had asked the bigwigs for the highest pay increase he has ever requested: 20%. We were supposed to meet about it last week. My annual increase is already a month late.

Dawn is my secret pipeline for all inside information. She told me my raise had been approved, sort of. They planned to give me 10% now and the other half in six months. I told her it was too little too late and reiterated what I told Gordon in December. I also admitted I'm job hunting and claimed I have already gone on one interview. I know I can get away with putting the pressure on because Dick, my help desk supervisor, is constantly threatening Gordon he'll find another job.

Dawn thought Gordon could be persuaded to do better, so she relayed some of our conversation to him. Later she told me he was on phone with the CEO trying to negotiate. I just got an email from him saying, "I have your payrise approved but need to discuss somethings with you. We will have a review and 2007 objectives meeting next Tuesday." Dawn thinks this means I'll get the full 20% raise now. I'm skeptical.

Sex World

2007-04-02T08:46:00.000-04:00

This month's disc goes out to the ever-so-cool ChrissySissyStar, who was only too happy to hear this mix would be slightly smuttier than usual. Along with some recent favorites, it features porn soundtrack tunes, snippets of porn dialog and music with porn samples.

tracks
1. Man - Erotica
2. Alice Russell - Take Your Time, Change Your Mind
3. William S. Burroughs & The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy - Dr. Benway Operates
4. Ja'Net DuBois - Queen of the Highway
5. dialog from Orgasmatron 75
6. Sam Phillips - Faster Pussycat To The Library!
7. Chari Chari - Strictly Porn
8. Survival Soundz - Twilight
9. Tift McGinnis + 3 Wheels Out - live from the Clermont Lounge
10. The Knife - We Share Our Mother's Health
11. Owusu & Hannibal - What's It About
12. Nick Faber - Same Girl, Different Wig
13. Vanity - Flippin' Out
14. Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - Gettin' High in the Morning
15. Pineapple (dialog from Maui Wowie)
16. Bilal - You're All I Need (Feels Like Heaven)
17. Diamanda Galás - Dead Cat on the Line
18. Inevidence - Cum Dancing
19. Jamie Lidell - Multiply (In a Minor Key)
20. Blossom Dearie - Just One of those Things (Brazilian Girls remix)
21. Berry Lipman - Sex World ft Toni McVey

notes
Welsh psychedelic rock band Man had a European hit in 1969 with "Erotica" but failed to chart in the UK due to the prominently featured orgasmic female moaning. I first heard the song on The Mood Mosaic 12: Mondo Porno.

Alice Russell is a British singer with an immense talent for soul, blues and jazz vocals. "Take Your Time, Change Your Mind" appears on Under the Munka Moon II.

William S. Burroughs was an American Beat Generation novelist. "Dr. Benway Operates" is excerpted from his seminal 1959 novel Naked Lunch. His performance, backed by San Francisco alt hip hop group The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, is from the album Spare Ass Annie and Other Tales.

Best known for playing Willona on the sitcom Good Times, Ja'Net DuBois also sang and cowrote the "Movin' On Up" theme for The Jeffersons. "Queen of the Highway" appears on the compilation The Kings of Diggin' mixed by Kon & Amir and DJ Muro.

Dialog from Orgasmatron 75 appeared on the compilation Deep Note: Music of 1970's Adult Cinema.

Singer-songwriter Sam Phillips is known for her idiosyncratic voice, Beatlesque songwriting, and fruitful collaborations with Van Dyke Parks, Elvis Costello and her husband, producer T-Bone Burnett. "Faster Pussycat To The Library!" is from her 1996 release Omnipop (It's Only a Fleshwound Lambcop).

Chari Chari aka Kaoru Inoue is a Japanese DJ and producer of minimal techno. This track is a mashup of burlesque tunes guaranteed to make you bump and grind. "Strictly Porn" appeared on the 1999 compilation Suck It & See.

NYC band Survival Soundz fused soul, jazz and underground hip hop with an Afrocentric aesthetic. "Twilight" appeared on the 1997 compilation Mutant Beatz: Abstrakt Hip-Hop, Future Funk & Science Fiction Soul.

I couldn't find any info about "Tift McGinnis + 3 Wheels Out - live from the Clermont Lounge" but I'd love to know more. This excellent spoken word piece about the intrigue and danger of sex work also appeared on Suck It & See.

The Knife are a Swedish brother and sister duo whose indie electronic music is heavily informed by synth pop and electro. "We Share Our Mother's Health" is from their acclaimed 2006 release Silent Shout.

Danish duo Owusu & Hannibal make electronic music inspired by classic funk and soul music. "What's It About" appears on their 2006 debut Living with Owusu & Hannibal.

Nick Faber is a DJ/producer and sought-after remixer. "Same Girl, Different Wig" appeared on Suck it & See.

Denise Matthews was a nude model and B-movie actress who was re-christened Vanity by Prince and made the lead singer of his side project, Vanity 6. "Flippin' Out" displays the full range of her vocal talents from A to B. It appeared on her first post-Prince album, Wild Animal.

Ariel Rosenberg is the visual artist and musician who records under the name Ariel Pink. He produces lo-fi, off-kilter rock that still manages to be catchy and melodic. "Gettin' High in the Morning" can be heard on his 2002 release House Arrest.

Dialog from Maui Wowie came from Deep Note: Music of 1970's Adult Cinema.

Philadelphia singer-songwriter Bilal's neosoul compositions are informed by his jazz background. He has worked with Jill Scott, Erykah Badu and D'Angelo. "You're All I Need (Feels Like Heaven)" is from his unreleased 2006 album Love for Sale.

Diamanda Galás is a performance artist, singer, keyboardist and composer. Possessed of a four octave range, her distinctive vocal style is informed by opera, blues and avant-garde performance art. "Dead Cat on the Line" is from her 2003 live album La Serpenta Canta.

"Cum Dancing" by ambient electronic group Inevidence is a dance track notable for its amusing porn samples and memorable dialog by Cheech Marin as a brothel carnival barker in From Dusk Til Dawn. Also from Suck it & See.

British artist Jamie Lidell, once half of experimental electronic group Super_Collider, marked his debut as a soul singer-songwriter on his 2005 album Multiply. "Multiply (In a Minor Key)" appeared on his 2006 remix album Multiply Additions.

Blossom Dearie is a jazz singer, songwriter and pianist since the 1950's who still appears regularly at a NYC cabaret. "Just One of those Things (Brazilian Girls remix)" can be found on Verve Remixed, Vol. 3.

Producer Berry Lipman's "Sex World" inspired this mix. A parody of Westworld, Sex World was a resort where guests went to live out their secret fantasies. The theme song, with singer Toni McVey belting like Shirley Bassey on mushrooms, manages to be hilariously cheesy and oddly funky at once. You can hear the song on Star Maidens: The Girls from Space.

Fabulous Ferndale- now with extra gay!

2007-03-31T09:45:00.002-04:00

My little adopted hometown has just been named to The Advocate's list of best places to live for gays & lesbians. This is the second time I've seen Ferndale on such a list. Ferndale has long been known as the gay enclave of metro Detroit. I never gave much thought to why, since every town here seemed gay-friendly to me.

I grew up in the Appalachian mountains where, at least in the eighties and nineties, being queer was something you acknowledged at your peril. I didn't know a soul who was openly gay and even closeted folks were not out of danger. In high school my first boyfriend and I were run off the road and beaten up by a pickup truck full of epithet-spewing football players. Business owners in my hometown received threats based on the mere suspicion they were gay.

Homophobia wasn't just rampant in east Tennessee, it was the default mode of thought. If such a thing as a gay community existed it was deep underground. In the gay & lesbian student group I helped found at my university, most attendees were afraid to give their real names. The only other place to meet queers was at MCC, held at at a Unitarian church way out in the boonies. Being agnostic meant keeping mum about my beliefs but I went anyway. I even made a few queer friends, which seemed like the impossible dream. There was one gay bar in a 150 mile radius.

The metro Detroit gay bar rag currently lists 32 gay clubs. There are Pridefests, gay bowling and softball leagues, and a GLBT rights foundation. Gay and lesbian couples strolling downtown holding hands are not an uncommon sight in Oakland county. Throughout the region, the differences from my hometown are so pronounced it's easy to forget Ferndale is still a special case.

Upon reflection there are a lot of things I take for granted. We have openly gay members of city council. Downtown there's a huge gay & lesbian community center, a gay bar and a gay bookstore. (The lesbian bookstore relocated.) Chosen Books, a gay bookstore and mainstay of Royal Oak, is relocating to new digs a few blocks from our house. There must be quite a high concentration of GLBT folks to support all those queer businesses.

Right now I don't want the word to get out so much. Downturn in the local economy precipitated a drastic drop in rents. Now a much larger 3 or 4 bedroom house can be had for the same rent as our tiny two bedroom bungalow. I'd hate to see a massive influx of outside GLBT folks before we get a chance to upgrade our living quarters.

The last music widget I'll ever need. This week anyway.

2007-03-30T21:09:00.000-04:00

MOG combines the best features of Pandora, Last.fm, Guzzlefish and social networking sites. Once their software scans your music collection, their site will stream radio or video channels customized to your tastes. Over half the videos are live performances. You get a personal site where you can list your collection, recently played tracks, top albums, favorite artists, etc. You can meet people with similar tastes. And of course there's a blog widget, as seen on the right.

Edit- turns out MOG doesn't stream, it points you to posts from other members with audio and video by the artist. Or at least I think that's what it does. Since the site got BoingBoinged their servers are bogged down and nothing seems to work right.

HappyTech? Ha!

2007-03-30T17:27:00.000-04:00

When I first bestowed my employer with that pseudonym on my blog the sentiment was sincere. Now it's purely sarcastic. It's hard to believe how much the atmosphere has changed. It's partly owing to a call volume at its lowest ever but chiefly because all recreational web surfing was banned. There's lots of small talk and forced joviality but it's more annoying than entertaining. These are people who have rarely gotten along so the sudden sociableness reeks of desperation. Anything to fill the deafening silence and pass the interminable hours until quitting time.

In an email about my upcoming review, the boss hinted he may relax the restriction but that could be wishful thinking. I have done a bit of emailing since no web monitoring is in place yet. Our network equipment is the oldest and cheapest crap imaginable so they don't even have the capability to track internet traffic. The solution from HQ was to send monitoring software that can be installed invisibly on our PCs. Knowing the boss, he'll probably never get around to it. It's a pointless exercise anyway. The guilty party is not dumb enough to look at porn here again. Even if he did there probably wouldn't be any consequences. So the no-surfing policy did nothing but destroy morale.

The ban has also made me chafe more at minor annoyances. You'd never know we're a division of a large company from the way our office is run. I have to bring in dish sponges for our kitchen because the boss is too cheap to buy them. We're often out of paper towels for the same reason. Broken equipment doesn't get repaired or replaced. Recently we sat in a dim office for a couple of weeks because the boss was too busy/lazy/cheap to replace some burned out fluorescent tubes. Our building is in an isolated area where office and vehicle break-ins are not uncommon. The property is poorly maintained and you have to duck and dodge around overgrown trees to get up the walk to our door. My desk is twenty feet from the men's room.

Our business has fallen off considerably. The air is thick with tension. It felt the same way when I worked here several years ago in the months before the big layoff. People have been talking about looking for other jobs for a while now, but much more since the new rule. I updated my resume yesterday and started sending out applications.

I used to go out for lunch now and then but usually ate at my desk and web surfed. Since I can't do that anymore, I relish the chance to get away for an hour and decompress. Fortunately I have just the place for it only a couple of minutes away from the office. It's a three mile stretch of road dotted with ten or so parks, many of them overlooking a lake. Today I went to my favorite spot to eat lunch, enjoy the scenery and put things into perspective.

A sad day at HappyTech

2007-03-27T19:20:00.000-04:00

I do technical support for a software firm. We're a tiny branch (eight employees) of a larger offshore company. My friends all know I love my job because I can spend a large part of my day web surfing, blogging, emailing, chatting, and so on. It's a dream job for a web junkie. Gordon Bennett, our boss, is the sort of hands-off manager who doesn't care how much we screw off so long as we get our work done. I'm not boasting when I say I get my work done with more skill, speed and accuracy than anyone else on the help desk; it's a fact. I'm a valuable employee. I get things done that no one else would do unless they were assigned, and only grudgingly then. I have also initiated policies that will save the company tens of thousands of dollars in the coming year. The boss has responded favorably and I'm up for a big raise soon.

But today everything I love about the job came crashing down around my ears. A large cache of porn was found on one of our little-used network drives this morning. No accusations were made but Gordon sent out an email decreeing all recreational web surfing is now forbidden. Headquarters has instituted measures to monitor all internet traffic, something we never had to deal with before. Big deal, you might think, so you can't spend all day at your job surfing the web, but you don't understand. We do have terribly busy spells periodically, but for the most part there is so much down time that the job would be nigh on unbearable without web surfing.

The whole situation was handled poorly. Gordon fired off his angry email without thinking and the guilty party immediately deleted the offending material. A smarter manager would have instituted monitoring unannounced and caught the culprit in the act. Then again maybe not, because they know who did it and he won't be punished. Irv is the pornmeister.

Irv started out as a regular help desk grunt like me but soon took on expanded roles in sales and training. He is the golden boy endeared to the higher-ups and beloved by our customers. Thanks to Gordon's laissez-faire management style, Irv has made himself indispensable to the company. He knows things no one else knows and performs functions no one else can. Bigger companies have safeguards against this sort of thing happening, but not us.

Our interactions are uniformly pleasant and cordial, but Irv has always bugged the shit out of me. For nearly a year, he had a habit of bumming several cigarettes from me every day. I think nothing of tossing a friend a few smokes, but come on. He smoked twice as much as me, and giving him a cigarette usually meant putting a customer on hold and digging out my backpack or going to the coat rack to fish them out of my jacket. It was hard not to get irritated, but Irv is a necessary resource on my job and I did not want to risk straining relations. Finally I just started leaving them on my desk. Once in a great while he would buy me a payback pack, always the wrong brand. Finally one day I told him to keep the proffered pack for himself since he always seemed to be out. He stopped bumming after that.

Then there was the milk. Since I drink a lot of it, I had a habit of keeping a gallon jug in the office fridge. Irv helped himself to my milk all the time and never bothered to replace it once. There's nothing like going to make your morning cereal and finding, once again, that someone has drunk the last of your milk. Great way to start the day, right? I never said a word to him about it, but I finally bought myself a bigger lunchbox so I could pack just enough milk for the day.

Aside from the annoyances, there is much about Irv that never quite added up. Most of us talk openly about our families. Everyone knows about my partner and one coworker has met him. Irv is notoriously private. I always thought he was a closet case. I wasn't alone in this suspicion and you'd think so too if you met him. All the signs were there: the effeminate voice and fey mannerisms, the overgrooming and designer wardrobe, the secret girlfriend nobody ever saw even though she supposedly shuttled him to and from work daily. Irv was always saying he almost had enough money together for a car but it never quite happened. When he was needed offsite at a customer's business our office manager had to drive him. Curious, that. Why couldn't a man who wore Armani sweaters and Prada shoes to the office afford a car? He started out in a humble position but he's certainly making good money now. That's another thing- why did a guy with years of highly marketable programming experience take an entry-level tech support job? Basically Irv is a mystery wrapped in an enigma with a creamy riddle middle.

I didn't know the extent of his odd behavior until my help desk supervisor spilled the goods today after everyone else left. There were several occasions when Irv appeared to have stayed at the office all night. Often he has come in bleary-eyed and barely conscious. A substance abuse problem was suspected. Irv spends lots of time in his office with the door closed. Dawn, our office manager, has walked in a few times and caught him with NSFW material on his screen, but she waved it off as "boy stuff" and never told anyone. Then on a recent business trip Dawn brought along a girlfriend. On the plane they observed Irv watching porn on a company laptop and making no great effort to conceal it. Later, out of the blue he asked Dawn's friend what her favorite sexual positions were. Later still he hit on Dawn with remarks so filthy she won't repeat them. Dawn is far from a prude, in fact she has shared some pretty raunchy stories about herself, so I can't even imagine what he must have said.

It's a relative certainty the porn was Irv's, based on the inappropriate and bizarre behavior as well as the fact the rest of us would have neither the inclination nor the stupidity to save porn on an office PC. On a drive we all have access to, no less. But it makes no sense for him to do it either. He's an intelligent guy. It's almost as though he wanted to be caught. But since the whole incident was bungled by the boss there's no proof it was him. Even if they wanted to fire him they couldn't. Nobody else can do everything he does and losing him would be disastrous. Unless he trained his replacement first (and none of us wants the position) the company would fall apart without him

So now I'm stuck working ten feet away from this perv who ruined my perfect job, and I have to be nice to him.

Another blog widget

2007-03-25T14:06:00.000-04:00

I'm trying out a new music service called Finetune, which gives you a button to stick on your blog so visitors can listen to your personalized radio stations. You build playlists of up to 45 tunes from their sizable music library. Normally widgets like this are the reason I avoid MySpace pages like the plague- too much visual and sound pollution- but in this case the music only starts if you want it to. That's it over there on the right. Go ahead, you know you want to click Play and be bowled over by my exquisite taste. There's also a Pandora-like function that lets you plug in an artist and get a station based on them, but it's really all about Howieland, isn't it?

Let me know if you tried it, how it worked and what you thought.

the world is mud-luscious

2007-03-24T14:11:00.000-04:00

This time of year always reminds me of a favorite poem.

In Just-

in Just-
spring       when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame balloonman

whistles       far       and wee

and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's
spring

when the world is puddle-wonderful

the queer
old balloonman whistles
far       and       wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing

from hop-scotch and jump-rope and

it's
spring
and
  the

          goat-footed

balloonMan       whistles
far
and
wee

-- e. e. cummings

"You'll never hear one of us repeating gossip...

2007-03-23T14:56:00.000-04:00

So you better be sure and listen close the first time." So sayeth the Hee Haw gals.

I'm usually not inclined to post such things but I couldn't resist this tidbit from The WOW Report:

While we were blogging we got an email that went something exactly like this: "I can't obviously confirm this, but my friends who are from St. Paul for years told me that Garrison Keillor is a closet fag who used to go out to bars back in the day." Thanks, tipster, that's what we like to hear.

Last one out turn off the lights, part deux

2007-03-23T13:01:00.000-04:00

It's like déjà vu all over again:

Will The Last Person To Leave Detroit Please Turn Out The Lights?
March 21, 2007 8:59 AM

The city of Detroit is in a bad way. House are cheaper than cars. The city's neighborhoods are in decay. Families are leaving. Even "revived" areas are struggling. Entire portions of the city are starting to revert to prarie and ruins. Can the city be saved or is it time to give up on the Arsenal of Democracy?

via Metafilter